Okay, so I have decided to share some of my random thoughts because it's been too long since I've blogged... … …

I want an iPhone. Like srs. The ability to be on MSN without having to pull out my netbook? How about the fact that 3G lets MSN be used about everywhere? It's not even the games that are what I like, though I think my main problem with iPhones is that the battery life goes down fast. 'krandomshortblogpost go.

… And I want to go on a cruise. Like on Superstar Virgo again. Though the last time I went, there was a tsunami. Yeah. I think I'm high. Yeah. … I'm saying yeah too many times, yeah. Yeah. So like I should probably go sleep.

Yeah.

… k.

Yeah, I was talking to my older sister and we both agreed that people think it's absolutely impossible to know what to get me for Christmas. Considering that I have like 3 empty wallets that I haven't used in my cupboard, I have to agree, I don't have so much cash that I need three wallets to carry it in anyway. So without ado, here's my gift list.

Portable Speakers

These would be more useful than almost anything else right now, being able to play music for everyone to hear on my speakers sure helped a lot when we were working on our dance for EDS Night. Plus I could listen to music on my MP3 player without it drowning out whoever I'm talking to on my headphones because when you're running raids in DDO, you don't want to be unable to hear what the party leader is telling you – it's grounds for a party wipe. And speaking of DDO...

DDO Turbine Store Points

People may think it's stupid to be paying for a game, but really, this isn't that different from World of Warcraft. In DDO, a lot of the best content is locked unless you buy the adventure pack or are a VIP... and being a VIP isn't really worth it if you're intending to be playing for a long period of time like I am. So it's actually cheaper to buy adventure packs, which can be bought with DDO store points. In this case, the best way to give me these would probably be gift credit cards, etc. It's no different from buying A-Cash, after all, and god knows how much certain people have spent on other games * coughcabalcough *.

Computer Games

Now these would be appreciated as well, I'm a gamer through and through. There are so many games that I'm not even really able to list of all of them, but you can bet that if you get me a game, I'd probably enjoy it a lot more than if you got me the entire Twilight series. … I hate Twilight.

MP3 Player

The T10 that I'm using is still pretty damn serviceable but it's getting rather... scratched... dented... I probably abuse it a lot more with how forgetful I can be sometimes. I also have over 900 songs on that thing and I'm hoping to eventually get an MP3 player that's more compatible with things... because MP3s take up a lot of space and it would be nice to have something that can play FLACs though I doubt that, which means another 40 minutes of waiting for my FLACs to all be converted to MP3s.

So far, a lot of the stuff I've been talking about is related to computers... so I guess I should list off some other stuff that I could use, right?

Notebooks

Just ask the people I hang out with often. If you put me in a bookstore and I find the notebook section, you're liable to have to drag me out before I make several purchases because I just love being able to look at blank pages that have to be filled with writing. (Sadly that writing usually isn't notes from schoolwork, but I'm not complaining.)

Sweets

… This is quite self-explanatory. You're talking to the girl who once went through 500g of sweets in about two hours, giving me more sweets is probably a recipe for diabetes but it sure makes me happy... and I'm told I'm amusing when I'm high.

There we go, that's about all I can think of for now, save books but then I have a lot of books and it's rather difficult to keep track of what I do have. ^_^

... Yeah, I guess I'll do a quick update. School's started for me, so I guess it's back to school with a happy smile on my fa- ohhellno. You know, I was going to post about how it sucks to be sick and all but I just got a story idea, so tata. A -quick- preview on what I may be working on in the future.

Leona's story (Or rather, Temi's backstory)... And of course, the much-anticipated backstory of Charl with Alex. I don't feel like infringing copyrights, so I figure that I'll change it up quite a bit.

"I'm not human anymore, Xander. I'm an immortal, doomed to live for the rest of eternity unless I go on a path of carnage and destroy the others who are created from the same heart as I am. I'm a killer and my hands are stained with the blood of those that I have spilled... I've lost what humanity I started out with, to someone like you... who's like how I once was... I may as well be a monster."

"But you can still love."

"... Yes. I can. But you'll also die and leave me alone."

"You'll never be alone, not unless you want to... not unless you forget the happy times along with the sad. Even if you forget everything that's happened, the pain will still fade and there's another option you could take... Give love a chance, C, if only so you have a break from the war that's tearing you apart to fight."

"D-Don't make me make this choice... I don't want to think about making you immortal, don't want to selfishly keep you from a life that would have been better lived without me. Please... I belong to the night and you should remain in the day. Trust me on this, I never wished to become what I am. I may look human... act like a human... but I will live far beyond what a human should live for."

"You know that's not going to change the way you feel..."

"I know... and I know that not doing anything about it is going to make me a less effective psychic, but I...."

"Mortal or not, I know what my heart tells me... and that your heart tells you the same."

"... Then, whatever happens at the end... I'll remind you that you were the one who brought this on yourself."

"And I'll promise you that we'll meet again."

I will admit it that I was writing that listening to Mi Confesion by Gotan Project, which is a very nice tango. It also has an AWESOME rap that reminds me that just a change in languages can totally impact how something sounds. I suspect that one of the reasons that I like the song so much is because of Mark and Chelsea's Argentine Tango to it on So You Think You Can Dance. Another nice song that you'll want to check out is If It Kills Me by Jazon Mraz which Jeanine and Jason did a dance to... I'll share a hilarious video edit from part of that dance here.



A wonderful commentary on SMeyer's woooonderful book series that's (incorrectly) known as the Twilight Saga. By 'Stephen King' himself.



Of course, while we're talking about Youtube videos, we may as well mention what I've been listening to currently. We have Treachery from the Bleach Diamonddust Rebellion OST, which is an incredibly addictive song that I'll link below, along with Nickelback's If Everyone Cared, All That Jazz from Chicago... plus a few other songs from well-known musicals. The Phantom of the Opera delivers as usual, with classics like Think Of Me, The Point Of No Return, The Phantom Of The Opera, Angel Of Music... Moulin Rouge's soundtrack is as addictive as usual and I find that I've been listening to a few of the songs that I never really paid attention to before. I'm still loving El Tango de Roxanne. The soundtrack version of Come What May is pretty good and has a background choir that I adored. Elephant Love Medley almost never fails to bring a smile to my face with all the songs that were put together in it, but since I don't want to kill everybody while they try to load my blog, I'll leave you to search for those songs on Youtube yourself. Not that I could ever forget The Show Must Go On... try listening to the original by Queen first and then the Moulin Rouge version. If you know my choice in songs, you probably know what I love so much about the song. Here's a hint.

Inside my heart is breaking, my makeup may be flaking, but my smile still remains on...





Moving on... game soundtracks are in my head again, what with Halo and World of Warcraft contributing a lot of songs. Believe me, if I listed them here, there would be no space... let's just say that I have the Halo Wars, Halo 1, Halo 2, Halo 3 and ODST soundtracks in my playlist. Yes, it is a long playlist. I've also rediscovered a few old songs that were favourites of mine. Together Again by Sash, Runaway by Dj Tripno, Last Night by P. Diddy ft. Keisha Cole, White Flag by Dido and Thank You by Dido, Should I Stay by Dreamz Fm, Angel by Dj Liquid, Beauty from Pain by Superchick, Feel Good Inc. by the Gorillaz... the list goes on (and so does the show).

I've also taken note of Glee. Glee is... ... ... Well, just take a look for yourself at a video from the show. The Single Ladies one is hilarious though if you want the -better- version, try searching Justin Timberlake and Single Ladies... poor Beyonce.



I'd talk a bit more but I really do need to get some sleep, so I figure that I'll bore you all to death with talking about my music another day. Oh, and SHUT UP THEODORE, I'M STILL SICK.

'k.

P.S. LAST VIDEO I SWEAR.

… Well. The past week has been nothing short of shitty for me. I guess I’ll start with what’s happened recently…

I needed to go shopping to pick up some stuff, so I asked my mom if she wanted to come along. She wants to invite my annoying brat of a younger sister. Fine. Whatever. She wants to take her time and go 3 hours later. Fine. She wants to yell at my dog for jumping onto the bed. Fine. I’m getting a headache for lack of sleep. Fine. I head to a shower and she asks me where I’m going. Fine. My younger sister says I’m going out with my friends and gets my mother asking why I didn’t ask her for permission. … Fine. I head to the bus stop to take the bus, and then realise that my wallet disappeared along the way. Fi- Wait, what?!

… To put it simply, I lost my wallet. We head back to the house to look for it and my mother suggests searching my schoolbag about 5 times. Then she suggests looking for it in my bag about 8 or so times. I decide to head back to look for it… in case it dropped on the ground somewhere and someone picks it up. But we have to wait for her because she managed the incredible feat of pulling a drawer off the rails and is struggling to put it back in. By the time we reach there, the wallet’s gone… And note that I intended to go shopping for shoes, presents and all that jazz, so that’s about $300 gone along with my student pass cum EZ-link card, my library card, some neoprints and about everything else that was inside there.

My dog, Jackie, has been coughing badly recently too. I got pissed off at being woken up every night by him coughing, since my parents NEVER get out of their beds to check on the dogs even when they’re barking like crazy. … And they never get out of their beds to check the power breaker when the power trips and their air-conditioning goes off, it’s always up to us… Anyway, we made a trip down to the vet. A trip that apparently didn’t needed to be made according to my father, but whatever, the damn dog’s important to me. The vet checks him over with a stethoscope and then asks a few questions like how long he has been coughing for. … Then she gives us a diagnosis.

He has a heart condition. His heart is failing and on a scale of about 1-6 for how serious it is, Jackie ranks at about 4-5. He was coughing because his lungs were filling with liquid thanks to his heart not being able to pump enough blood. She says that once diagnosed at that late a stage, most dogs live about 6 months more, maybe a bit more if we’re lucky. Even with the medication that he’s taking now to help him, there’s the chance that he could have a heart attack any moment and die.

I admit… I went into shock. I’ve had Jackie since I was about four or five and he was the same age as I was. He grew up with me from the playful young dog that he was then into the old but still lovable dog that he is today. He got a blood test and an x-ray as well, to make a better diagnosis of the condition, though it was not that much of a comfort that he did not have heartworm. The irony can suck at times… the vet said that he had a heart that was larger than usual. I guess it wasn’t enough to keep him going until the end. I cried. I fucking cried and if you know me, I almost never cry unless I’m pissed off. … I figure I should end my post right about here…
Oh, and here are some paraphrased quotes.

“Stop feeding the dogs crackers.”
“Why? He’s going to die soon, anyway.”

The lovely last quote is from my father, who is truly a sensitive and caring man who goes out of his way to provide for his family.

So… yep, I’ve been a bitch lately, I’m pissed, I’ve been jumping from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other, I’m paranoid and I’m so –SICK- of being stuck at home. I can’t find a good place to write, my assigned ‘desk’ is covered in things that are sure as hell not mine and the moment I open the curtains to get some light, I get yelled at to close them. People are acting like they know me and I swear, if I have to deal with another Twitard, they’re about to see me get very, very violent. Yeah, I have no way to blow all of this pent-up emotion off and it is taking me apart bit by bit. School’s going to start soon. … Like I care. My aunt says the weather in New York is cloudy and dark, just like in Twilight. … Because I totally love Twilight and I am in love with Robert “Edward Cullen” Pattinson. If you actually believe what I said in that previous sentence, I suggest you stab yourself in the neck and then burn yourself to ashes with sunlight because stupidity of that level is intolerable.

Yay.

Why, hello everyone… I decided to get off my ass and start writing a blog post. I know, it’s been ages since my last one and I should stop being so lazy. But I guess that I haven’t had much to blog about at this point… I mean, what is so interesting about my life anyway? I can’t write worth a darn even if I can write better than SMeyer (Thank God for that). I’ve been listening to a lot more music recently, so if you want to check it out, I suggest going to this link for it. Here.

… So yeah. I’m having my holidays right now and I have less than a month to go before school starts again. Fun, right? I haven’t accomplished a damn thing these holidays and I am sick and tired of sitting here in front of the computer. For once in a while, I want to go out and have some fun by myself. I want to go shopping in town, I want to catch a movie and I am so sick of goddamned drama. I miss my friends, I guess, I’d like to maybe meet up with them… hang out and chat a little like we always did. We could discuss a few books, maybe joke about something that we heard about. It’s the little things like that that I miss, and family doesn’t count… because one way or the other, I don’t like hanging out with most of my family.

Yeah, it is harsh. So what? It’s just my opinion. I don’t like being among people that I can’t express my opinion to, who don’t have what is needed to understand it, or will go behind my back to tell my parents all kinds of tales about me. Bull. Shit. If you can’t understand omniversal theory or even try to understand that in the sense of the omniversal view of creation, it is possible that there are beings that are greater than gods. God himself, maybe, but that there are lesser powers seems to be something that is rejected by all kinds of people. I guess I’m like the black sheep of the family.

“Oh, so and so is so smart but so weird. She talks about things like darkness all the time…” Insanity is different from being able to acknowledge that there are views outside your own worldview and that ther is a darker side to the world you’re living in. … Once again, it all comes back down to fear.

Fear. It happens so much, doesn’t it? … But yeah, I think I’ll stop here, because no one needs to read my blog to see my philosophical ramblings… or do they? Maybe.
I’m just taking the time to look over my priorities. School… it’s not something that really matters to me. Sure, it’s important and everything, but I’m already thinking on levels beyond what school can teach. Dunman High does not have philosophy classes. Should it? Probably, but then I bet that no one would attend them but me… because my stories are too confusing, aren’t they? People want to know everything about the world, they don’t want to have their minds constricted to a worldview that is sharply narrowed. I would rather talk with people for hours on how energies like ki and chi would fare against mana, or even how to make a realistic story where technology and magic co-exist with each other. I would rather imagine a world, a universe, where valkyries, angels, demons, dragons, knights, wizards, cyborgs, all of those different stories could mesh together.

Elleswyn was that story. It was Chronicler’s masterpiece, a universe where order and chaos were struggling against each other on a daily basis. Where nightmares came to life and people had to fight off their inner darkness as they stood in the light to protect people… where battles were won not based on how powerful they were because light and darkness were an even match, but based on who had the stronger will. An epic universe of romance, friendship and even hatred that stretched across everal generations. These are the stories that I have in my head, ones that even I sometimes can only catch a glimpse of, stories that make me want to scream in frustration when the words I put down on paper fail to capture their essence.

… And deep down, I know I can write it. I know that if I had a space to write it in, a proper computer and maybe a desk that isn’t covered with so much stuff… I could write it. If I could find the will to start reading again, to draw inspiration from the books that I used to love instead of this half-assed apathy that has seized hold of me right now, I could be writing a far greater story than I have. You know what? It hurts. Deep down, knowing that there is still so much that I have to write, putting my imagination aside and looking at schoolwork is just so mundane. You can imagine how hard it is for me to be looking at holiday homework when in my mind, I can see a battle raging through catacombs as both good and evil fight to reach the very core of a mana leyline where they can gain the entire life energy of a planet, I have far better things to do. It’s hard enough for me to find a good place to write as it is. The desk is either too short or the chair too high, it’s too dark, it’s too cramped, it’s too messy, someone else needs to use the space, there are always a host of reasons. Maybe I wasn’t in the mood for writing, maybe someone kept talking to me and I –know- that I get very testy when my train of thought is interrupted. Whatever it is, my dream of sitting under the night sky while I write is probably never going to happen. It’s sad, but that’s how life is.

But writing is important to me; I create characters and their voices as the threads of fate weave out their life stories cannot be ignored. Like Stephen King himself put it, writing is telepathy. I want to put down my thoughts on paper, I don’t feel like I’m coming up with anything new but rather that I’m connecting to someone somewhere and writing down their thoughts. That’s why… ‘Chronicler’ can only see into the past. I hate it, the way I’m feeling right now, the need to ‘write’ something but being unsatisfied with the words that I have. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to things that I care about… this is one of the few things that I actually care for. So please, if you want to tell me that you don’t think my writing is important… I have a few choice words for you that I’ll omit because I’d like to point out where you can shove your opinion.

Tata~

I Am A: Neutral Good Half-Elf Bard/Sorcerer (1st/1st Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-15

Dexterity-17

Constitution-15

Intelligence-17

Wisdom-17

Charisma-18


Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.


Race:
Half-Elves have the curiosity and ambition for their human parent and the refined senses and love of nature of their elven parent, although they are outsiders among both cultures. To humans, half-elves are paler, fairer and smoother-skinned than their human parents, but their actual skin tones and other details vary just as human features do. Half-elves tend to have green, elven eyes. They live to about 180.


Primary Class:
Bards often serve as negotiators, messengers, scouts, and spies. They love to accompany heroes (and villains) to witness heroic (or villainous) deeds firsthand, since a bard who can tell a story from personal experience earns renown among his fellows. A bard casts arcane spells without any advance preparation, much like a sorcerer. Bards also share some specialized skills with rogues, and their knowledge of item lore is nearly unmatched. A high Charisma score allows a bard to cast high-level spells.


Secondary Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Yeah, I'm still pissed. Ending up ordering from McDonalds... 27/7 delivery is too useful to pass up. *Growls* Needed to rage for a bit, mostly been having a bad few weeks with being sick and all. Add that to the fact that I'm pretty lonely online right now and I -don't- want to talk to some people who keep bugging me.

Look, I chose to resign as a mod for a good reason, 'kay? It's so I don't get caught up in all your damn drama. So keep me out of it, I don't want to hear you whining to me about approval. Read the rules. And. Stop. Bugging. Me.

Yep, still hungry and still -pissed-.