The Chronicles of the Shadow Queen

2010-10-29T14:07:00.000+08:00

Okay, so I have decided to share some of my random thoughts because it's been too long since I've blogged... … …

I want an iPhone. Like srs. The ability to be on MSN without having to pull out my netbook? How about the fact that 3G lets MSN be used about everywhere? It's not even the games that are what I like, though I think my main problem with iPhones is that the battery life goes down fast. 'krandomshortblogpost go.

… And I want to go on a cruise. Like on Superstar Virgo again. Though the last time I went, there was a tsunami. Yeah. I think I'm high. Yeah. … I'm saying yeah too many times, yeah. Yeah. So like I should probably go sleep.

Yeah.

… k.

2010-10-18T10:48:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I was talking to my older sister and we both agreed that people think it's absolutely impossible to know what to get me for Christmas. Considering that I have like 3 empty wallets that I haven't used in my cupboard, I have to agree, I don't have so much cash that I need three wallets to carry it in anyway. So without ado, here's my gift list.

Portable Speakers

These would be more useful than almost anything else right now, being able to play music for everyone to hear on my speakers sure helped a lot when we were working on our dance for EDS Night. Plus I could listen to music on my MP3 player without it drowning out whoever I'm talking to on my headphones because when you're running raids in DDO, you don't want to be unable to hear what the party leader is telling you – it's grounds for a party wipe. And speaking of DDO...

DDO Turbine Store Points

People may think it's stupid to be paying for a game, but really, this isn't that different from World of Warcraft. In DDO, a lot of the best content is locked unless you buy the adventure pack or are a VIP... and being a VIP isn't really worth it if you're intending to be playing for a long period of time like I am. So it's actually cheaper to buy adventure packs, which can be bought with DDO store points. In this case, the best way to give me these would probably be gift credit cards, etc. It's no different from buying A-Cash, after all, and god knows how much certain people have spent on other games * coughcabalcough *.

Computer Games

Now these would be appreciated as well, I'm a gamer through and through. There are so many games that I'm not even really able to list of all of them, but you can bet that if you get me a game, I'd probably enjoy it a lot more than if you got me the entire Twilight series. … I hate Twilight.

MP3 Player

The T10 that I'm using is still pretty damn serviceable but it's getting rather... scratched... dented... I probably abuse it a lot more with how forgetful I can be sometimes. I also have over 900 songs on that thing and I'm hoping to eventually get an MP3 player that's more compatible with things... because MP3s take up a lot of space and it would be nice to have something that can play FLACs though I doubt that, which means another 40 minutes of waiting for my FLACs to all be converted to MP3s.

So far, a lot of the stuff I've been talking about is related to computers... so I guess I should list off some other stuff that I could use, right?

Notebooks

Just ask the people I hang out with often. If you put me in a bookstore and I find the notebook section, you're liable to have to drag me out before I make several purchases because I just love being able to look at blank pages that have to be filled with writing. (Sadly that writing usually isn't notes from schoolwork, but I'm not complaining.)

Sweets

… This is quite self-explanatory. You're talking to the girl who once went through 500g of sweets in about two hours, giving me more sweets is probably a recipe for diabetes but it sure makes me happy... and I'm told I'm amusing when I'm high.

There we go, that's about all I can think of for now, save books but then I have a lot of books and it's rather difficult to keep track of what I do have. ^_^

The Show Must Go On

2010-01-14T19:47:00.002+08:00

... Yeah, I guess I'll do a quick update. School's started for me, so I guess it's back to school with a happy smile on my fa- ohhellno. You know, I was going to post about how it sucks to be sick and all but I just got a story idea, so tata. A -quick- preview on what I may be working on in the future.

Leona's story (Or rather, Temi's backstory)... And of course, the much-anticipated backstory of Charl with Alex. I don't feel like infringing copyrights, so I figure that I'll change it up quite a bit.

"I'm not human anymore, Xander. I'm an immortal, doomed to live for the rest of eternity unless I go on a path of carnage and destroy the others who are created from the same heart as I am. I'm a killer and my hands are stained with the blood of those that I have spilled... I've lost what humanity I started out with, to someone like you... who's like how I once was... I may as well be a monster."

"But you can still love."

"... Yes. I can. But you'll also die and leave me alone."

"You'll never be alone, not unless you want to... not unless you forget the happy times along with the sad. Even if you forget everything that's happened, the pain will still fade and there's another option you could take... Give love a chance, C, if only so you have a break from the war that's tearing you apart to fight."

"D-Don't make me make this choice... I don't want to think about making you immortal, don't want to selfishly keep you from a life that would have been better lived without me. Please... I belong to the night and you should remain in the day. Trust me on this, I never wished to become what I am. I may look human... act like a human... but I will live far beyond what a human should live for."

"You know that's not going to change the way you feel..."

"I know... and I know that not doing anything about it is going to make me a less effective psychic, but I...."

"Mortal or not, I know what my heart tells me... and that your heart tells you the same."

"... Then, whatever happens at the end... I'll remind you that you were the one who brought this on yourself."

"And I'll promise you that we'll meet again."

I will admit it that I was writing that listening to Mi Confesion by Gotan Project, which is a very nice tango. It also has an AWESOME rap that reminds me that just a change in languages can totally impact how something sounds. I suspect that one of the reasons that I like the song so much is because of Mark and Chelsea's Argentine Tango to it on So You Think You Can Dance. Another nice song that you'll want to check out is If It Kills Me by Jazon Mraz which Jeanine and Jason did a dance to... I'll share a hilarious video edit from part of that dance here.

A wonderful commentary on SMeyer's woooonderful book series that's (incorrectly) known as the Twilight Saga. By 'Stephen King' himself.

Of course, while we're talking about Youtube videos, we may as well mention what I've been listening to currently. We have Treachery from the Bleach Diamonddust Rebellion OST, which is an incredibly addictive song that I'll link below, along with Nickelback's If Everyone Cared, All That Jazz from Chicago... plus a few other songs from well-known musicals. The Phantom of the Opera delivers as usual, with classics like Think Of Me, The Point Of No Return, The Phantom Of The Opera, Angel Of Music... Moulin Rouge's soundtrack is as addictive as usual and I find that I've been listening to a few of the songs that I never really paid attention to before. I'm still loving El Tango de Roxanne. The soundtrack version of Come What May is pretty good and has a background choir that I adored. Elephant Love Medley almost never fails to bring a smile to my face with all the songs that were put together in it, but since I don't want to kill everybody while they try to load my blog, I'll leave you to search for those songs on Youtube yourself. Not that I could ever forget The Show Must Go On... try listening to the original by Queen first and then the Moulin Rouge version. If you know my choice in songs, you probably know what I love so much about the song. Here's a hint.

Inside my heart is breaking, my makeup may be flaking, but my smile still remains on...

Moving on... game soundtracks are in my head again, what with Halo and World of Warcraft contributing a lot of songs. Believe me, if I listed them here, there would be no space... let's just say that I have the Halo Wars, Halo 1, Halo 2, Halo 3 and ODST soundtracks in my playlist. Yes, it is a long playlist. I've also rediscovered a few old songs that were favourites of mine. Together Again by Sash, Runaway by Dj Tripno, Last Night by P. Diddy ft. Keisha Cole, White Flag by Dido and Thank You by Dido, Should I Stay by Dreamz Fm, Angel by Dj Liquid, Beauty from Pain by Superchick, Feel Good Inc. by the Gorillaz... the list goes on (and so does the show).

I've also taken note of Glee. Glee is... ... ... Well, just take a look for yourself at a video from the show. The Single Ladies one is hilarious though if you want the -better- version, try searching Justin Timberlake and Single Ladies... poor Beyonce.

I'd talk a bit more but I really do need to get some sleep, so I figure that I'll bore you all to death with talking about my music another day. Oh, and SHUT UP THEODORE, I'M STILL SICK.

'k.

P.S. LAST VIDEO I SWEAR.

2009-12-21T20:14:00.000+08:00

… Well. The past week has been nothing short of shitty for me. I guess I’ll start with what’s happened recently…

I needed to go shopping to pick up some stuff, so I asked my mom if she wanted to come along. She wants to invite my annoying brat of a younger sister. Fine. Whatever. She wants to take her time and go 3 hours later. Fine. She wants to yell at my dog for jumping onto the bed. Fine. I’m getting a headache for lack of sleep. Fine. I head to a shower and she asks me where I’m going. Fine. My younger sister says I’m going out with my friends and gets my mother asking why I didn’t ask her for permission. … Fine. I head to the bus stop to take the bus, and then realise that my wallet disappeared along the way. Fi- Wait, what?!

… To put it simply, I lost my wallet. We head back to the house to look for it and my mother suggests searching my schoolbag about 5 times. Then she suggests looking for it in my bag about 8 or so times. I decide to head back to look for it… in case it dropped on the ground somewhere and someone picks it up. But we have to wait for her because she managed the incredible feat of pulling a drawer off the rails and is struggling to put it back in. By the time we reach there, the wallet’s gone… And note that I intended to go shopping for shoes, presents and all that jazz, so that’s about $300 gone along with my student pass cum EZ-link card, my library card, some neoprints and about everything else that was inside there.

My dog, Jackie, has been coughing badly recently too. I got pissed off at being woken up every night by him coughing, since my parents NEVER get out of their beds to check on the dogs even when they’re barking like crazy. … And they never get out of their beds to check the power breaker when the power trips and their air-conditioning goes off, it’s always up to us… Anyway, we made a trip down to the vet. A trip that apparently didn’t needed to be made according to my father, but whatever, the damn dog’s important to me. The vet checks him over with a stethoscope and then asks a few questions like how long he has been coughing for. … Then she gives us a diagnosis.

He has a heart condition. His heart is failing and on a scale of about 1-6 for how serious it is, Jackie ranks at about 4-5. He was coughing because his lungs were filling with liquid thanks to his heart not being able to pump enough blood. She says that once diagnosed at that late a stage, most dogs live about 6 months more, maybe a bit more if we’re lucky. Even with the medication that he’s taking now to help him, there’s the chance that he could have a heart attack any moment and die.

I admit… I went into shock. I’ve had Jackie since I was about four or five and he was the same age as I was. He grew up with me from the playful young dog that he was then into the old but still lovable dog that he is today. He got a blood test and an x-ray as well, to make a better diagnosis of the condition, though it was not that much of a comfort that he did not have heartworm. The irony can suck at times… the vet said that he had a heart that was larger than usual. I guess it wasn’t enough to keep him going until the end. I cried. I fucking cried and if you know me, I almost never cry unless I’m pissed off. … I figure I should end my post right about here…
Oh, and here are some paraphrased quotes.

“Stop feeding the dogs crackers.”
“Why? He’s going to die soon, anyway.”

The lovely last quote is from my father, who is truly a sensitive and caring man who goes out of his way to provide for his family.

So… yep, I’ve been a bitch lately, I’m pissed, I’ve been jumping from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other, I’m paranoid and I’m so –SICK- of being stuck at home. I can’t find a good place to write, my assigned ‘desk’ is covered in things that are sure as hell not mine and the moment I open the curtains to get some light, I get yelled at to close them. People are acting like they know me and I swear, if I have to deal with another Twitard, they’re about to see me get very, very violent. Yeah, I have no way to blow all of this pent-up emotion off and it is taking me apart bit by bit. School’s going to start soon. … Like I care. My aunt says the weather in New York is cloudy and dark, just like in Twilight. … Because I totally love Twilight and I am in love with Robert “Edward Cullen” Pattinson. If you actually believe what I said in that previous sentence, I suggest you stab yourself in the neck and then burn yourself to ashes with sunlight because stupidity of that level is intolerable.

Yay.

2009-12-05T05:58:00.003+08:00

Why, hello everyone… I decided to get off my ass and start writing a blog post. I know, it’s been ages since my last one and I should stop being so lazy. But I guess that I haven’t had much to blog about at this point… I mean, what is so interesting about my life anyway? I can’t write worth a darn even if I can write better than SMeyer (Thank God for that). I’ve been listening to a lot more music recently, so if you want to check it out, I suggest going to this link for it. Here.

… So yeah. I’m having my holidays right now and I have less than a month to go before school starts again. Fun, right? I haven’t accomplished a damn thing these holidays and I am sick and tired of sitting here in front of the computer. For once in a while, I want to go out and have some fun by myself. I want to go shopping in town, I want to catch a movie and I am so sick of goddamned drama. I miss my friends, I guess, I’d like to maybe meet up with them… hang out and chat a little like we always did. We could discuss a few books, maybe joke about something that we heard about. It’s the little things like that that I miss, and family doesn’t count… because one way or the other, I don’t like hanging out with most of my family.

Yeah, it is harsh. So what? It’s just my opinion. I don’t like being among people that I can’t express my opinion to, who don’t have what is needed to understand it, or will go behind my back to tell my parents all kinds of tales about me. Bull. Shit. If you can’t understand omniversal theory or even try to understand that in the sense of the omniversal view of creation, it is possible that there are beings that are greater than gods. God himself, maybe, but that there are lesser powers seems to be something that is rejected by all kinds of people. I guess I’m like the black sheep of the family.

“Oh, so and so is so smart but so weird. She talks about things like darkness all the time…” Insanity is different from being able to acknowledge that there are views outside your own worldview and that ther is a darker side to the world you’re living in. … Once again, it all comes back down to fear.

Fear. It happens so much, doesn’t it? … But yeah, I think I’ll stop here, because no one needs to read my blog to see my philosophical ramblings… or do they? Maybe.
I’m just taking the time to look over my priorities. School… it’s not something that really matters to me. Sure, it’s important and everything, but I’m already thinking on levels beyond what school can teach. Dunman High does not have philosophy classes. Should it? Probably, but then I bet that no one would attend them but me… because my stories are too confusing, aren’t they? People want to know everything about the world, they don’t want to have their minds constricted to a worldview that is sharply narrowed. I would rather talk with people for hours on how energies like ki and chi would fare against mana, or even how to make a realistic story where technology and magic co-exist with each other. I would rather imagine a world, a universe, where valkyries, angels, demons, dragons, knights, wizards, cyborgs, all of those different stories could mesh together.

Elleswyn was that story. It was Chronicler’s masterpiece, a universe where order and chaos were struggling against each other on a daily basis. Where nightmares came to life and people had to fight off their inner darkness as they stood in the light to protect people… where battles were won not based on how powerful they were because light and darkness were an even match, but based on who had the stronger will. An epic universe of romance, friendship and even hatred that stretched across everal generations. These are the stories that I have in my head, ones that even I sometimes can only catch a glimpse of, stories that make me want to scream in frustration when the words I put down on paper fail to capture their essence.

… And deep down, I know I can write it. I know that if I had a space to write it in, a proper computer and maybe a desk that isn’t covered with so much stuff… I could write it. If I could find the will to start reading again, to draw inspiration from the books that I used to love instead of this half-assed apathy that has seized hold of me right now, I could be writing a far greater story than I have. You know what? It hurts. Deep down, knowing that there is still so much that I have to write, putting my imagination aside and looking at schoolwork is just so mundane. You can imagine how hard it is for me to be looking at holiday homework when in my mind, I can see a battle raging through catacombs as both good and evil fight to reach the very core of a mana leyline where they can gain the entire life energy of a planet, I have far better things to do. It’s hard enough for me to find a good place to write as it is. The desk is either too short or the chair too high, it’s too dark, it’s too cramped, it’s too messy, someone else needs to use the space, there are always a host of reasons. Maybe I wasn’t in the mood for writing, maybe someone kept talking to me and I –know- that I get very testy when my train of thought is interrupted. Whatever it is, my dream of sitting under the night sky while I write is probably never going to happen. It’s sad, but that’s how life is.

But writing is important to me; I create characters and their voices as the threads of fate weave out their life stories cannot be ignored. Like Stephen King himself put it, writing is telepathy. I want to put down my thoughts on paper, I don’t feel like I’m coming up with anything new but rather that I’m connecting to someone somewhere and writing down their thoughts. That’s why… ‘Chronicler’ can only see into the past. I hate it, the way I’m feeling right now, the need to ‘write’ something but being unsatisfied with the words that I have. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to things that I care about… this is one of the few things that I actually care for. So please, if you want to tell me that you don’t think my writing is important… I have a few choice words for you that I’ll omit because I’d like to point out where you can shove your opinion.

Tata~

2009-11-11T21:16:00.001+08:00

I Am A: Neutral Good Half-Elf Bard/Sorcerer (1st/1st Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-15

Dexterity-17

Constitution-15

Intelligence-17

Wisdom-17

Charisma-18

Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

Race:
Half-Elves have the curiosity and ambition for their human parent and the refined senses and love of nature of their elven parent, although they are outsiders among both cultures. To humans, half-elves are paler, fairer and smoother-skinned than their human parents, but their actual skin tones and other details vary just as human features do. Half-elves tend to have green, elven eyes. They live to about 180.

Primary Class:
Bards often serve as negotiators, messengers, scouts, and spies. They love to accompany heroes (and villains) to witness heroic (or villainous) deeds firsthand, since a bard who can tell a story from personal experience earns renown among his fellows. A bard casts arcane spells without any advance preparation, much like a sorcerer. Bards also share some specialized skills with rogues, and their knowledge of item lore is nearly unmatched. A high Charisma score allows a bard to cast high-level spells.

Secondary Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

2009-09-05T21:22:00.001+08:00

Yeah, I'm still pissed. Ending up ordering from McDonalds... 27/7 delivery is too useful to pass up. *Growls* Needed to rage for a bit, mostly been having a bad few weeks with being sick and all. Add that to the fact that I'm pretty lonely online right now and I -don't- want to talk to some people who keep bugging me.

Look, I chose to resign as a mod for a good reason, 'kay? It's so I don't get caught up in all your damn drama. So keep me out of it, I don't want to hear you whining to me about approval. Read the rules. And. Stop. Bugging. Me.

Yep, still hungry and still -pissed-.

2009-09-05T21:03:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah, it's out. I can /raeg better than Rikaru. Whatever. But look at it this way.

NO, I DO NOT WANT ANY GODDAMNED FOOD AT FOUR-DAMN- PM IN THE AFTERNOON. I had my lunch less than an hour ago, what the HELL do you think? So yeah, I turn down the food and head into my room, thinking that I can eat it later...

But APPARENTLY NOT. Because, at the time when I usually eat my dinner... THERE IS NO DAMN FOOD LEFT THAT'S ACTUALLY PALATABLE. No, I do not want spaghetti that's so damn thick I could eat the sauce without the pasta. I do not want mushroom soup because I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF DISGUSTING COOKING.

Like when you ask someone to buy something for you and they promise they will remember to buy it because they're going down to get food for themselves... Oh, COME ON. How hard can it be to buy a bag of chips?

I'm not dirtpoor. Is it TOO MUCH to ask that I have some variety in food once in a DAMNED blue moon? Or that when I call someone to buy food back, she picks up the damn phone? But you know what? Fine. Next time you ask me to open the door for you? I won't bother.

I'm hungry -and- pissed. It's not a good combination.

2009-09-03T16:04:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, life just kicks you in the ass, y'know? It's not like I -asked- to fall sick. I hate being sick, I hate being weak and unable to do a damn thing about it. So stop blaming me and stop pulling all sorts of excuses for me falling sick. I'm EXTREMELY SURE that sitting down for hours will cause people to fall sick, no WONDER people in school get sick after sitting in class for 6 hours and no WONDER office workers are falling sick by the droves. Oh, the horror. ... No. If you couldn't tell that was sarcasm, something's seriously wrong.

So yeah, I'll have to go back for extra lessons during the September holidays... I don't mind, actually, they sound like they'd be good for me. Yes, I actually do care about my marks to some extent, though I don't cry over every single test I do badly in unlike some.

... Anyway, on a more upbeat note, I found some of the songs that I used to <3.

2009-06-30T20:27:00.002+08:00

Okay, more memorable quotes.

After discussing freezes... the breakdancing move, not the dessert, Wanyu came up with a brillant idea.

WY: We shall teach Zeqi too
WY: To make up for her stainy bagness
Me: Lol, I can imagine

The scenario goes thus:

HL Milk: WOW ZEQI!YOU CAN DO A FREEZE!THT DEFINITELY MAKES UP FOR UR LACK OF ABILITY TO REMOVE STAINS
Zeqi: DUHHHHHH I teach u to do a freeze u teach me 2 wash clothes

I was, of course, LOLing at that.

And I wondered why I missed hanging out with S.I.L.A.C.T.

2009-06-30T14:37:00.003+08:00

When all is said and done, you'll always have to come back. To look at your reflection in the mirror and ask if you can carry on. So, did it hurt, these words you didn't understand? That the DARKNESS in the hearts of all mankind could be so plainly shown in their cycle of wars? The ignorance of the many will be the reason behind the fall of the few who know the truth.

Look! A post!

2009-05-25T21:14:00.011+08:00

Why does my reflection show someone I don't know? - Mulan, Reflection

Why, hello there. It's about time I got off my lazy ass and did a post update, isn't it? Well, here it is. I'll start with the older events and work my way down to... EDS NIGHT '09!

Field Trip to Marina Barrage

Now, this is way overdue. In any case, prepare for a very rare case of picture spam on my blog. I'll keep my words here short, for lack of much to say. There was much sarcasm. And much copying of my worksheet. I think I'm a class resource or something when it comes to field trips. Does anyone else agree?

Picture with Hui Ping, who is cute as usual. =D

So there's the end of that sub-post. Now, on to EDS rehearsals and ~~dead birds~~.

EDS Rehearsals

Katherine and Alyssa wearing their caps. I like this picture, and see? I finally uploaded it. Now you can steal it from my blog. ^.^

Wanyu wanted to try it on. She claims she looks very manly. I'm inclined to uhh... reserve my comments, since I can't see her eyes, anyway.

Zeqi and Kat again. My granddaughter and wife. =) I like this picture, and you can tell it's of a better quality, since it was taken with a digital camera instead of the usual phone camera.

Fine, you look much more manly in these photos. Happy? "I look like a guy!" indeed.

I still look better. Kthxbai.

Dead Bird

It's dead. And once more, a catalyst for me to show off my very awesome sarcasm.

Me: Oooh, dead bird.
SX: Eee, it's dead.
Boy: *Comes over and looks* ... It looks like a chicken.
Me: Chickens are birds.

>.< I was still laughing over that. I know it's mean, but it was still funny. It was... right? >.>

Costume Outing
I think the chronological order is a LITTLE messed up here, but it's all good, anyway. Here are some pictures I took on the costume outing. Mostly of the cafe where we ate. I didn't take any of us together. Or rather, I kept deleting the photos since they were unglam. Sorry girls. I'm a perfectionist at heart.

I find the pictures here really cute and sweet. I don't know who drew them, but he or she is one great artist. This was at Far East, by the way, where we spent most of our time. We got our guy costume hats here, then headed to Bugis Street to get the rest of it. The prices we got there were great, plus the clothes were all wearable out of performances, so that's even better.

String Ensemble Concert/Parent Teacher Meeting
On that lovely Saturday, the 16th of May, I was rudely awakened by my alarm clock. Which was playing the SYF song. Bollywood is surprisingly useful for when you want to be awakened, and fast.

In any case, headed down to school, ignoring the sleeping not-so-beautiful lazybones who were supposed to go for the PTM. After that, I met up with SuiXin and Zeqi in the canteen, chatted a bit while listening to music. We were mostly waiting around for the teacher to arrive, and said teacher was a little late to call us to assemble but it's all good anyway. We got our placards and our groupings. I was in group 1A, which is basically the first of the tour groups to be sent out.

I'll not linger much on what happened, but the tour was surprisingly fun and I got the chance to chat with some of the parents. Hey, I got CIP hours. And more CIP hours since I took a double shift, so I'm not going to complain, am I? It's quite likely that by the end of the year, I will have enough CIP hours to last most people two years. That would be quite nice. Except that I can't carry my hours over, so I'll still have to work hard for those points.

Random Videos

My Chinese project videos. Janell is hilarious. Doro makes a cameo in my hat and sunglasses. Hui Ping makes a good criminal. And Ruiwen is good at bursting balloons.

The N.G.s are funny as well, so be sure to watch them.

Well, I wanted to post about EDS Night as well, but I think I'll put that in a separate post. It deserves that much, at least. Stay tuned.

2009-05-06T21:03:00.002+08:00

My butterflies all ran away from me...

Had science practical today, we're currently studying ecology, so we had to go to a nearby field and estimate the population of plant life there. At least, that was what we were supposed to do. Since I ended up with nothing to do (Christina had the quadrant, Hui Ping had the thermometer, and Theodore was being Theodore) I got distracted by the butterflies. And started chasing them. To be fair, I was supposed to take pictures of the insects/animals there, but let's just say that screaming doesn't really attract wildlife to you.

Before that, Music was as fun as usual. We're learning Latin (the style of music, not the language) and it's fun to play the percussion. Seems simple, but it isn't, especially with a style of music whose most distinctive feature is the different beats that can be put with many different melodies. My ears were a little (understatement)hurt when some people forgot to control their volume a little. >.< Loud!

On a side note, level camp is cancelled. It's been pretty much confirmed, but I haven't had any news on whether there will be a replacement event for us. The reasoning behind that is that people are discouraged from congregating in large groups now, what with Influenza A on the rise. It also means that we won't be doing the camp dance anymore, which is a bit of a pity, but I think I'll recover. On a side side note, I heard someone mention that the PTM was cancelled. It's just a rumour, as far as I'm concerned, but it does make sense.

To end off this quick update post, I'll post one of my current favourite songs. If you're reading this on Facebook, you won't be able to see the video. The song is the remix of Moonlight Shadow by E-Rotic. The original is by Mike Oldfield. For those who find it familiar, it's one of the DDR songs.

Carried away, by a moonlight shadow

2009-04-28T21:23:00.002+08:00

I cried after watching this video, or at least came dangerously close to it. I guess I really miss watching Fate/Stay Night, it's amazing just how a good storyline can be so utterly devastating when it ends on a bittersweet note. Even if knowing that if he pursues her forever, then they may end up together in Avalon, it's sad to see that the only time she actually tells him she loves him is when she is about to disappear.

Oh, and my mom is freaking out over caterpillars. -.- 'cause the tangerine plant we're growing is popular with butterflies, apparently. Don't tell Hui Ping, or she'll refuse to come over for projectwork.

Now to reply tags.

Munlin: Don't let anyone know that I was blogging during computing. >.> <.< >.>
Wanyu: I have a right to emo 'kay. >.> Not as bad as you, right? And I noticed that a lot of the quotes were from you... ._.
Theodore: Yes, it was a good way and I sure as heck needed it before I was tempted to try out one of the newly-sharpened knives. And the language was a bit too strong for my speech, but you know I can pull stuff like that out of my brain randomly. My answer to your question... well, I already told you, didn't I?

2009-04-27T00:48:00.001+08:00

Oh, and more news to come.

Updating links list soon. Leave your links here. =)

Selling EDS Night tickets. You know you want them. =)

2009-04-27T00:43:00.001+08:00

Hanging out with everyone is hilarious, especially when there are classic quotes popping out every now and then. Here's an example.

Hui Ping: Why does he like ______? 他跟本没有眼光。He should like you!

And upon request, I'll be adding another quote.

Wanyu: Ah! AH!
Me: ... -.-

Another one.

1. Zeqi has a stainy bag.
2. That means she can't wash clothes properly.
3. That means she can't wash his underwear.
4. And no one likes stainy underwear.
5. That's why he no likey.

WY and I came up with that one... HEH!

Ummm, so many more quotes. But I can't remember them. >.<

I'm reposting this, and asking for good quotes.

2009-04-27T00:37:00.002+08:00

I'm not like she is. You can't manipulate me with fear, I'm not afraid of you, not anymore. Maybe that would have been true when I was younger, but anything you do to me now, and I'll call the police. So you think you're so big, huh? Ever heard of something called time management. Just because I was playing in the afternoon doesn't mean that I can't do my work at night. Even if I tried to do my work, it was projectwork. How am I supposed to do projectwork without the help of projectmates?

Still, pissing me off was a mistake. It always is. Because you know I'll get back, I'll remember, and if it's you then I can hold a grudge like nobody's business. Get real. Your ego does not count here. I do not care, and I do not want to know just how important you think you are. It's pathetic the way you think you're the ruler of this house? You know what? Go look in a mirror and tell me what kind of person you see there. Because if you think someone who smokes is a bad person, then a hypocrite of the highest order like you are should just go to hell.

Don't you agree?

2009-04-24T12:44:00.001+08:00

And I, I don't want to fall to pieces. I don't want to lose myself. But I cannot find the strength to overcome my weakness. And I am weak, so very weak.

2009-04-24T12:33:00.002+08:00

All by myself, I need to get around this
My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you
All the pain I thought I knew, all the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said,
Back and forth inside my head.
I can't handle this confusion.
I'm unable, come and take me away.

Falling again, falling so far, falling so fast.
I thought that you'd be here by now.
I'm listening, but there's no sound
Isn't there anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come and take me home?

I wish you knew, but I know you won't. Because I will never have you as my own, I can't find the selfishness to take you away from someone else. Why is everything so confusing? Why can't you just hate me, because I know they would if they knew? I'm not the person you once thought you knew, the darkness has already gotten to me.

'She is as the wind.'
If you are not mine, if you will not claim me as your own, then I will disappear
Even if you hate me, it's because you can't hold me
Slipping through your fingers, this is my terrible fate
The thought of your hatred is the shiver running down my spine
And I am free, as free as the wind
You cannot hold me, you cannot seal me
You cannot hold what you cannot reach
You cannot seal what has disappeared

Is shadow the wish to hide from the world? Then, why is my true self the one with many faces? Why am I in pain? I once thought you had all the answers. I guess I was wrong, but it doesn't change the truth.

2009-04-13T21:39:00.002+08:00

Something to say... I have plenty to say. I'm just not in the mood to write all about it. Today was, in actual fact, a pretty bad day for me. I swear I'm in the middle of a conspiracy to deal painful injury to me or to hurt me in one way or another. Because the odds don't seem to be that high that I'd get hurt in the same timeframe of ten minutes.

I'll probably return with an update sooner or later, but I just seem to find it such a bother to update my blog. Facebook is a better alternative at the moment.

2009-03-06T11:23:00.001+08:00

2009-03-02T12:59:00.000+08:00

Dumdeedum. Dealing with a fever right now, but at least tomorrow's my birthday! ^.^

2009-02-26T22:00:00.002+08:00

It's the little things that make you crazy, like the thought of someone touching your skin.

I didn't want you to know, so I tried to let you go.

But this bug's got me bitten, so I'll leave this feeling unwritten.

Bah,I need to stop being depressed, it's getting boring already. So I'll just try and write some random stuff to get this out of my system. I hate writer's block when you have no idea what you want to write.

Just as was written, the apocalypse came in the night, when all was asleep. It should have been no surprise to those who were preparing, but it was. That was the day the world died... that was the day I was left behind. Sol, the sun, our brightly shining star betrayed us on that day. With no warning, it went supernova. By all accounts, that should have been impossible, but now no one is left behind to argue that the impossible happened. It could only have been called a miracle, a freak of nature that wiped out life on an entire planet.

Seconds, minutes, time cannot mean anything when there is none but me to keep track of it. Before my very eyes, I saw the atmosphere burned away, I saw the great oceans boiling. But that was before the earthquakes began. Deep inside, from within the bosom of the earth, something was brewing. The earth cracked open, shattered apart like a test tube heated up before being submerged into icy cold water.

It has been 26 hours. I stand in the ruins of the greatest of civilisations, surveying all that lies before me. Everyone else died. I survived. I cannot explain it, the reason why I have been left behind even though there is nothing in the world for me. Neither can I explain how I have all the knowledge of what was going on at that very moment in time. Something has changed, that is for sure.

30 hours now, and I have gone without sleep for that entire length of time. I do not feel tired, nor do I feel hungry. My body should have used up the store of glycogen in the liver by now, so it is strange that I feel wonderful. I cannot name a point in life when I have felt better.

An hour has passed, and I'm walking where the ocean bed used to be. Somehow, the atmosphere has been restored, and I can feel the humidity in the air. It is going to rain, a storm on the level of which will never be felt before. Yet I am not worried. You see, I've started to develop strange powers... I can will things into existence. I can change the fabric of reality with just a thought, and I can even restore what once was. It would be a simple matter to return the Earth to the state it was in before it was destroyed. But I will wait, I have a feeling that something more is going to happen.

I slept. It was a deep, dreamless sleep and when I awakened, I suddenly understood everything. The creator god had disappeared. Somehow, somewhere along my all-too-short life, I had been chosen to undertake the mantle that I hold now. It is on my very whim that the Earth shall be recreated.

It took longer than I expected, but I have reached my decision. I will leave the Milky Way, and bar entry to it. This power of mine will only hold for that single dimension, but I will soon figure it out. Omnipotence does bring with it several benefits, and I have created for myself another universe where I will be able to create something entirely new.

Fantasy, the stuff of legend, stories of elves and hobgoblins, dragons and knights battling against each other. I will create a universe like that. Then I will put a copy of myself into it, I will create an experiment to see how I would have fared. There is no longer any doubt and hesitation, even sorrow for those who have been lost is distant. I can call them back anytime, I simply do not wish to.

My name... no, I shall be one by many names. But for the sake of simplicity, I will have one that you may know me by. Call me the Chronicler. I am the truest heir to the power of knowledge.

Well, that was fun... A bit of a drabble, possibly canon on how the Chronicler came to be.

2009-02-20T11:32:00.002+08:00

It's been too long since I've done a proper post, and I'll start by replying to the tags.

Jonny: >.> Bro? I'd rather be called sis, but I guess it's up to you.

Munlin: Thanks!

Lovell: Awww, thanks. I was actually freaking out inside, but managed to get through that. It was embarassing. >.<

WanWAN: Yeah, I think the Year 2 dance is going to rock, your choreography is awesome. I really hope that it comes out okay.

As for anyone wondering what the beetle thing is... just ask me, hehe. I'm kinda lazy right now and not in the mood to talk about it.

HUNTED COMES OUT NEXT MONTH!

2009-02-19T20:20:00.001+08:00

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces...

The watcher is always alone
Without a way or a home
There is no light of hope
Always, struggling to cope

Dancing the Night Away

2009-01-09T18:29:00.002+08:00

Due to certain people bugging me to post, I am. But because I'm one of those crazy dancers, I'm going to do a nice preview of the Year 2 dance. Now, some of you know the song Still Doll by Kanon Wakeshima, which is the ending of Vampire Knight. Well, good news. We're dancing to that for the first portion of the dance, and it is going to be some awesome stuff.

There is the song. It sounds pretty creepy, doesn't it? Even more so when I tell you that the dance is going to be about dolls coming to life. The THEME is creepy, and we're going to try to make our movements as scary as possible. Here are the lyrics, to add to the creep-fest. Yes, I'm enjoying this.

Hi, Miss Alice,
In your glass eye,
What sort of dream,
Are you seeing?
Are you seeing?

Once again,
My heart has burst,
And is pouring out,
"Repair it," call the memories trapped in the crevice.

Still, you do not answer
Still, you do not answer

Creeped out yet? No? Ok, how about this. Inspiration is being drawn from the Zombie Dance (So You Think You Can Dance, Ramalama Bang Bang), the Mannequin Dance (So You Think You Can Dance, in the morning) and Robot Dancing... Yeah, none of it is human.

In Profile

2008-12-29T20:23:00.002+08:00

I am so bored, I have decided to do a profile of myself, just like I do a character profile... So I'll post it later. Hah. =P

Happy Birthday to Lily

2008-12-08T00:36:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday, Lily. It's past 12 AM here, so you're officially 14 now. I'm having a big guilt trip now because I didn't manage to finish your present. I promise to work on it soon, and I'm sorry you had a horrible birthday. I hope the police takes care of the case and your mom never gets robbed again. Good luck in high school, and try to get better marks next year, okay? Hopefully I'll get the story back into gear and we can get started on killing hte actual enemies. I hate sitting around, RPing doing nothing as much as you do.

Try to mend those broken wings, will ya?

Happy Birthday, Lily!

2008-12-06T16:47:00.003+08:00

If I could shed tears, I would. Let all of what I'm feeling out. But I'm just shocked, just horrified. He's blind. HOW!? Jackie... why... I'm sorry. But isn't it too late? The realisation was like a sucker punch to the gut. My dog... is blind. Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!

I wish I understood. You were so agitated, but I only got annoyed. Please forgive me...

Dance

2008-11-27T23:43:00.003+08:00

Wednesday was fun, since I spent 3 hours at a studio in Lavender with my friends. Ironically, didn't really choreograph much, but at least we got a start that we can work with. To that effect, I'm considering changing songs for the contemporary portion from Everytime to another song. We're meeting up again next week. =) On Wednesday, heading to Bugis first to source for costume parts, then we're going over to the studio for another 3 hours. And hopefully, a certain someone can come along this time. >.>

There are videos, but I'm disinclined to post them at the moment.So just ask me for the link on MSN or something.

Went out with some 6I people on Thursday (yesterday, considering the time I'm posting this) to watch a movie. Didn't really have dinner, though, for reasons left unstated. Beverly Hills Chihuahua is hilarious, and the dogs are adorably cute. That's what we ended up watching instead of Quantum of Solace. I hope to organise another gathering soon, please tell me when you're free.

Class Gathering

2008-11-26T18:56:00.001+08:00

For those who didn't receive my SMS.

Tampines Mall.
Meeting time - 6 PM.
Dinner.
Movie - Quantum of Solace - 7.10 PM.

That's about it, anything else?

Roxanne

2008-11-24T15:43:00.005+08:00

Here is the piano version of the one in Moulin Rouge, AKA El Tango de Roxanne.

And the original version, in a FF video just because I thought it was better than the striptease one. =)

And, just because I'm messed up, here's the chipmunk version.

Here are the lyrics... the FULL version, from the movie. The song actually only starts from 'Will drive you... will drive you... will drive you MAD!'

I think Ewan McGregor sounds pretty darn sexy during the part that goes 'His eyes upon your face, his hand upon your hand, his lips upon your skin'.

The Narcoleptic Argentinean (spoken):
We have a dance!
In the brothels of Buenos Aires
Tells the story
Of the prostitute
And the man
Who fell in love...
with her.

First there is desire
Then... passion!
Then... suspicion!
Jealosy! Anger! Betrayel!
Where love is for the highest bidder,
There can be no trust.
Without trust,
There is no love!
Jealosy.
Yes, jealosy...
Will drive you...
Will drive you...
Will drive you...
Mad!

Roxanne, you don't have to put on that red light
Walk the streets for money
You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right.

Roxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight.
Roxanne, you don't have to sell your body to the night.

Christian:
His eyes upon your face
His hand upon your hand
His lips caress your skin

Its more than I can stand

Argentinean:
Roxanne

Christian:
Why does my heart cry?

Argentinean:
Roxanne

Christian:
Feelings I can't fight

You're free to leave me
But just don't deceive me
And please
Believe me when I say
I love you

(spoken in the background)
Yo que te quiero tanto, que voy a hacer?
Me dejaste...me dejaste como una paloma
El alma se me fue; se me fue el corazon
Ya no tengo ganas de vivir porque no te puedo convencer
Que no te vendas, Roxanne

Argentinean:
Roxanne you don't have to put on that red light

Christian:
Why does my heart cry?
Feelings I can't fight

Argentinean:
You don't have to wear that dress tonight

Roxanne you don't have to put on that red light

Backing:
Why does my heart cry?

Argentinean:
Roxanne you don't have to wear that dress tonight

Backing:
Feelings I can't fight

Christian, Argentinean & Backing:
ROXANNE!

The scene from the movie. Note that the song is actually a mix of two songs, I'll leave you to learn that yourself.

Jackie darling

2008-11-24T15:09:00.004+08:00

I swore to myself I wouldn't post. I'll break this rule just once for the sake of my adorable doggie boy looking at himself in the mirror. Isn't he the cutest?

Love Quizzes

2008-10-30T21:17:00.003+08:00

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner.

For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience.

You attract others with wit and a bit of flash.

Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you.

Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life.

You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past.

You connect best with: Earth

Avoid: Fire

You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

What Element Is Your Love?

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.

And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly.

Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.

You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful.

You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.

With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

Your Lucky Love Color is Black

When someone gets to know you, they still make feel a bit intimidated by you.

You are alluring and sexy, but you have a dark, dangerous side that you don't hide.

And just like your color suggests, you are sophisticated and wise - especially when it comes to men.

Your heart is hard to win over. You don't fall in love easily... or often.

What Does Your Lucky Love Color Tell Men?

Your Love Is Represented By a Red Rose

You love passionately and fully, without any reservations.

And while romantic love comes easily for you, you also love many people platonically.

You are a true romantic, and you always can see the best in people.

What Rose Represents Your Love?

You Can Make 77% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

Your seduction skills are practically legendary. You know how to close the deal.

Just don't let someone you're really into get the better of you!

As long as you keep up your end of the flirting game, you'll get the prize at the end.

Can You Make Anyone Fall in Love With You?

You Follow Your Heart

You're romantic, sentimental, and emotional.

You tend to fall in (and out of) love very quickly.

Some may call you fickle, but you can't help where your emotions take you.

You've definitely broken a few hearts, but you're not a heartbreaker by nature.

Your intentions are always good, even if they change with the wind

Do You Follow Your Head or Your Heart?

Your Love Type: INFJ

The Protector

In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship.

For you, sex is nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls.

Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in.

However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself.

Best matches: ENTP and ENFP

What's Your Love Type?

Your Love Song Is

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson

"Maybe you've been through this before

But it's my first time so please ignore

The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I can't always be waiting, waiting on you

I can't always be playing, playing your fool"

You've been waiting for love, and you're not going to wait any longer!

What Love Song Are You?

Your True Love Is a Sagittarius

Why you'll love a Sagittarius:

Deep and philosophical, you'll love getting lost in hours of conversation with your Sag.

Your Sagittarius is curious and adventurous enough to keep you interested... not an easy task!

Why a Sagittarius will love you:

You're passionate about a few important issues, a kind of depth that Sagittarius finds very attractive.

You're outgoing, flexible, and up for almost anything. You and your Sag will have tons of adventures together.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Heart Is Red

You're a passionate lover - you always have a huge fire in your heart.

Too bad it's hard for you to be passionate about just one person!

Your flirting style: Outgoing and sexy

Your lucky first date: Drinks and dancing

Your dream lover: Is both stable and intense

What you bring to relationships: Honesty

What Color Heart Do You Have?

You Would Do Most Things For Love

You are willing to go pretty far for love - but not far enough to compromise your core values.

Love is a priority for you, and you'll go further than most people to hold on to someone you love.

But killing for love? Or even taking a bullet? Probably out of the question.

No matter what, you love yourself the most!

Would You Do Anything For Love?

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful

But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself

You're the perfect blend of independent and caring

You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

Your Love is Based on Commitment

You believe that love is something that develops and grows.

You don't believe in love at first site, and you never mistake lust for love.

For you, love is about mutual devotion, respect, and understanding.

You don't feel comfortable in a relationship, unless you're both in it for the long run.

Why your love can last: You don't take commitment lightly - or leave relationships easily

Why your love can fail: You're so committed, you often can't see the most obvious problems in your relationship

What Is Your Love Based On?

You Are A Relationship Rescuer!

You don't ruin relationships, if anything you keep them together

The key: you respect yourself and your guy. Which goes further than you might think.

You simply treat your guy how you would like to be treated... the old golden rule.

And in return, he treats you like gold - or at least tries. And how perfect is that

Do You Ruin Relationships With Men?

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise!

Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro.

If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you.

You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

Never Date a Virgo

Demanding, picky, and a total perfectionist - there's no way you want to live up to Virgo's standards.

It's not that you couldn't please a Virgo... you would just hate yourself for doing it.

Instead try dating: Libra, Leo, Aquarius, or Aries

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is medium.

In general, you prefer to have only one love interest.

But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long!

There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is medium.

You probably have had a couple significant loves.

And you may have even had your heart broken.

But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people.

Dominance:

Your dominance is low.

This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.

You know a relationship is not about getting your way.

And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom.

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is low.

You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.

No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.

You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.

And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.

Independence:

Your independence is medium.

In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time."

You usually find it easy to be part of a couple.

But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.

The Five Variable Love Test

2008-10-29T19:45:00.001+08:00

And, uh, just something random here...

You Are Ballet

You are quite introverted. You enjoy keeping to yourself and cultivating your talents.

You are dedicated and focused. If practice makes perfect, you're willing to keep practicing.

While some people may dismiss you as boring, you can be quite edgy and interesting.

You can fit in almost anywhere... and your style ranges from conservative to funky.

What Dance Are You?

2008-10-29T15:32:00.001+08:00

I'm here to tell you all about my super-duper-awesome GPA. 2.33. And no, it's not really that good, I was just being a little sarcastic. I'll get over it, though, since I know I tried harder this term. I just have to start studying... which you all know I hate a lot. T.T Ohwells.

I got my Adobe CS3 Web Premium... WHICH IS UPGRADABLE TO CS4! TAKE THAT, YA NOOBS! Yeppp, pretty happy about it, since I got it at a really cheap price. Thanks, MOE.

Castaway

2008-10-26T14:00:00.002+08:00

I'm walking alone in an open space, looking around for a human trace
Along the edge of the satellite, losing my route in these empty skies
Dancing with the ghosts of this galaxy, losing myself in this ecstasy
No clock is turning to silence time, everything's flowing through day and night
No noise is breaking my silent star, I'm on the run, I can go so far
Lying in absence of gravity, feeling the vibe of eternity

This is the treasure I had to earn, this is the lesson I had to learn

I am just a castaway. Here, everywhere, anywhere. Do you even presume to know me? Do you think the side that I show to you is all of me? I am so much more, so much deeper, so absolutely different from you. Do you think that I'm as stupid as you assume I am? It is all an act, calculated to let you continue to look down on me deep inside you. And I hate it. I think I'm starting to hate the world. Hating the petty disputes, hating the people so focused on their little lives when they have never once stopped to look at the big picture. Hating high school politics, those petty disputes that you'll look back on one day and laugh. I can't stand it. It hurts so badly that I'm starting to lash out at people around me.

2008-10-23T20:12:00.003+08:00

I think I'll just make a little post on the events of today, to see if my blogging skills are... okay. Since I pretty much just rant on my blog, anyway. XD

Took the subsidised bus service, to school, as usual. I set I'm So In Love With Two on replay mode and slept through most of the bus ride. I almost missed my stop, only when I saw people getting off then I realised I had fallen asleep. LOL! So, hung out in class, until it was time for assembly. Jingyu was freakin' funny when she was listening to Low. I shall not mention it, because I'm just that crazy, and I don't want to cause embarrasment. =P

No assembly! Thank God for rain. I love it on school days. I hope Tanjong Rhu has a lot of rain, too, but I doubt it. T.T Miss Chan just told us where we would be going after we were done with the assembly stuff. Then we were OFF to the school gym where we watched Le Papillion, which is translated to The Butterfly.

French movies are annoyingly touching for me. *Grumbles* First was that movie that my sister introduced me to and got me crazy over, as well, and now this... It was your usual, haeartwarming family movie, but with a real-world take and a sense of humour. It was an excellent movie, though I predicted the ending of the movie, ironically.

AFter that was the 30 min lunch break. Didn't do much, just bought some Cheezels... nuggets... Participated in some lucky draw thingy and didn't win ANYTHING! V_V Then I headed to the bookshop... bought a, uh, notebook for some emo reason (to write letters that'll never reach the person they were meant for, how sad is that?), some envelopes (I do intend to send some letters that will be read) and some blank paper for... random stuff.

After that, waited in the foyer. The Year 1s there were too noisy, so Miss Lee asked me to go and ask them to lower their volume. It's.. somewhat scary to talk to people you don't know and basically ask them to shut up. But, um, ON TO THE NEXT SUBJECT!

Went to City Hall first. The art there was pretty cool and I'm suddenly feeling lazy and shall not bother posting any more. Tata, toots!

2008-10-23T16:53:00.002+08:00

Here's a bit more of a post, so I don't have to post for some time. =)

Lately, I've started creating my server RP. It's set in the Galaxy of Harrok, which means that I have to overlook TWO galaxies now. And they're in different dimensions, too. *Grumbles* Anyway, the stite and stuff should be up soon. Take a look, yeah? ^^

New obsession with music started. Dance, too. Um... some of these are reobsessions. Never mind.

SONGS!:
I'm So In Love With Two by Mikaila
Untitled by Simple Plan
Stop & Stare by OneRepublic
In The End by Linkin Park
Looking For Angels by Skillet
Under My Skin by Skillet
Cry by Rihanna

DANCE!

Okay, I'm weird... Just... bored, I guess. Sick of work. T.T

Posts, Dedications, and Wishlists

2008-10-23T15:40:00.002+08:00

I'm finally posting, for all those people who were bugging me to post, I found a way. No, my internet browsers are still messed up and it's kinda hard to explain why I can post here. So I won't. I know there were a lot of posts I would have loved to post, and I did have inspiration, but it all seems to drain away as soon as I sit in front of the computer. Here goes my usual rant, in any case.

What I think I'll talk about today is changes. Yes, you've heard enough lectures on it. If you don't want to hear the ramblings of someone who may be classified as insane or brillant, depending on who you're asking, you can put in this key sequence: Alt + F4. It'll take you to where you deserve to be.

Changes. Good, bad, or neither? It's completely a matter of perspective. But they can be disorienting, and some of them are just heartbreaking. For this part, I'm going to address a few people directly. I'm sure you'll know exactly who you are.

I know you're blaming yourself for my pain. I know you never meant to cause me pain, and you've decided to do your best to make me happy. But I don't know how things are going to turn out, and you're still one of my best friends. What I wanted the most was for you to be by my side. I just wanted you to hear what I had to say. It makes me wonder, though, that even though I came to know others later than you... it seems like I know them better. What do you really think? What goes on in that head of yours? I can never stop wondering. I don't want to be placated, I want the truth... Who am I to you?

You're one of my best friends, someone who's like a sister to me. We've both gone through a tough time recently, and I know the pain is still there. I'm sorry I was so helpless, that I could do nothing but offer comfort. I'm sorry I made you think I was angry with you for so long. I was, but how could I ever stay angry? You're a friend. Whatever it is, you're still a brillant writer, a talented student and one of the best at evoking emotions through words around. Cheers.

You're a guardian. I look up to you as a teacher, and I'm glad to be friends with someone like you. Someone who tries to protect what he can and save the world from itself, because that was just what I wanted to be. You're truly inspiring, but in the end, you're just as human as the rest of us. I only wish I could somehow help carry the responsiblity...

You think of yourself as an inferior being. That's not true, but I don't know if you'll believe me when I say that. When you say you're a student, you should remember that everyone is always learning. The learning never stops, even as you grow old, because no human is able to gain infinite knowledge... Keep holding onto your faith, and remember that you're not alone.

I never quite knew you. You always seemed a distant figure to me, just someone else who I said hello to when I logged on. things changed a lot when we actually started talking. You're almost like a big brother to me, a friend who has brought me a lot of comfort. I love your sense of humour, and your ability to switch to being serious in the blink of an eye. Thanks for being there.

To some old friends, who I haven't seen in the longest of times.

Lyn. Lyn, Lynnie, Lyn, Lyn. It's sad that I haven't seen you for what seems like forever, but I'm glad to hear you're doing well. Thanks for being one of the fans of my stories, and one of my supporters. It's because of people like you that I can find the will to keep on writing.

Sulynn. Heya, Lynn-chan, it's ironic that your name is so similar to the person above. How's RGS for you? I hope you're doing well, probably just unlike me, who never fit in anywhere. I hope you're going to write about your characters, because you really had a story there. Like Lyn, thanks for being a great supporter of my writing, and an awesome friend to talk to. =)

Jonathan. Jonny Angel. Can I call you himbo now? No? Ah, what a pity... I find myself missing the times when I sat next to you. No, this does NOT have any deeper meaning, people. -.- They were just fun times, like those I had with 6I'07. The listening to music under the table, the good-natured insults, the one-upping and the constant comparing of results were all memories that I treasured. I have the right to be emo, you don't, so don't be an emo kid.

Wee Xuan. Shane. I still like the nickname coined for you by Mr. Kwek, so I'm going to keep using it. Sorry I can't play DotA with ya anymore, because my internet screwed up, as well as my laptop which is currently under repair. I'm going to beat you at DDR one day, just you wait. And you cheater, you practise a damn lot more than me. >.>

Hilary. Sire Edmund. Cheers for the first person to climb to the summit of Mt. Everest! Long time no see, I miss your brand of humour and adorable cluelessness. So yes, let's meet up sometime soon and make evil plans to be... evil.

To new friends.

Wanyu. Hai there, daughter. ^^ Thanks for being a great friend, an awesome dancer and someone who's generally fun to hang out with. Speaking of which... WE TOTALLY HAVE TO GET SOME DANCES PROPERLY CHEOROGRAPHED SOON!

I'm feeling a little lazy here, so I'll just quit on the friends thing. No, it doesn't mean I don't consider you a great friend, it just means I'm a lazyass who you can bully into writing something for you. Drop a message.

So much has changed, and sometimes, I don't know what to do. If shadow is the wish to hide from the world... then that is absolutely true. I just want to run and hide, so I don't have to listen to any of this any more. At the same time, I have fire in my blood. Fire, for passion and anger. The flame of destruction comes easily to me, and I do my best to rein it in. As fast as it comes, it goes, leaving only regret behind. But I think I'll shut up with the emo talk and save it for when I'm actually feeling emo instead of drained beyond belief, eh?

Replies to tags that actually asked questions or requested something:

Jonny: Yes, you have permission to tagged, or I'd have tried to kick your ass by now. ^^ So, I finally updated, and can you post the actual link of your blog over MSN to me?

Lyn: I think I've given up on telling you that my stories are not that good, so I'll just take the praise. You scare me at times. Seriously.

Eunice: Um, hi? What's up?

Leon Wow, how in the world did you just arrive on my blog? o.O Thanks for the compliment, anyway. ^^

Lovell: Yes, I miss sitting with you too, passion fruit. Crazy, fun, hyper moments are always enjoyable in my book. So, any ideas to blackmail people?

Wanyu: *Hides*
-----------------------------
I'm a naturally bored person, so I'll do a wishlist! These are things that I really, really want. T.T And will likely never get, because a lot of people are just that stingy.

- Acer Predator PC (This gaming PC freakin' owns, and at least it's not like my current one)
- Xbox 360 Pro Elite (I totally wish, but since no one keeps promises, it's unlikely that I'll ever get this)
- Fable 2 (The game I've wanted for ages, and it's for the DAMNED Xbox 360. Why isn't life ever fair?)
- Tomb Raider: Underworld (Lara Croft kicks butt, 'nuff said)
- Darksiders: Wrath of War (It's about the end of the world. I'm writing an RP about Ragnarok. I love it.)
- Fallout 3 (Big, bad FPS)
- Call of Duty: World At War (I liked CoD4. Now this. Drool.)
- Halo 3 (A little old, yes, but still an awesome as hell game)
- Latest DS version (It has a bult-in camera.)
- World peace. (Maybe when the world ends.)

2008-08-28T00:06:00.001+08:00

I'll admit it, I'm eager to go back to Tao Nan, to see how everyone is doing. The only problem? I don't have a present... Darn. I guess I could print out some of my stories for Mrs. Tan...

2008-08-22T21:58:00.004+08:00

The last few days were pretty eventful, but lazy bum that I am, I don't feel like typing all about them right now. Anyway, here's a video I made.

2008-08-17T19:29:00.002+08:00

You, yes, you, the disgusting freak who really pushed me closer to the edge today... If it wasn't for HER, I'd have snapped. But next time, she won't be able to hold me back... The rage and frustration built up from over 13 years of horrible treatment is already boiling... Don't push me further, or you'll find that I'm not as forgiving as she was before me.

Insane, the rage of a berserker
It fills me up inside with animal instincts
My eyes have gone dark with fire
Your harsh, vulgar voice burns like a fatal wound
I wish for destruction
I have fallen, maybe beyond salvation for most
Your selfishness, self-centredness and double standards
Will fall like only so much illusions
Before the all-consuming fire of my rage...

Rp Charries ~

2008-08-11T17:47:00.002+08:00

I'm... actually doing work. Just so sick of slacking, but I don't have the strength... Ohwells, here are the pictures of my RP chars!

Ebrith/Ebby

Fion

Jazion/Jaz/Jazzy

Sardak

Seyla

Zakra

Beathias

Brak

Charl

Miles

Iranius

And, someone who's not MY character, per se... This is Chain, from Ragnarok, a new RP.

Tagging and being Tagged

2008-08-11T16:11:00.003+08:00

I got tagged by... Wanyu

And I didn't even know about it!

Rules:
Bloggers who have been tagged have to write 10 things about you which are all true.
At the End, bloggers have to tagged another 10 people to do the quiz and have to tell them they have been tagged...

1. I like sweets (Well, obviously... >.> <.< >.>)
2. I love writing! (Also rather obvious. XD)
3. I <3 dance! (More obvious stuff)
4. I like giant chickens! (Uhh...)
5. I have split personalities! (Well, not exactly, but I can be a fangirl one moment and complete serious the next. *shifty eyes*)
6. I love computer games! (XD)
7. I have been kissed before. By a guy. Yes. (>.> And my male cousins who stole most of my kisses DON'T COUNT.)
8. I have had crushes on people before. (And yes, never told them. I'm such a coward. V_V)
9. ... Well, yes, I have had people confess to me before. (*very shifty eyes*)
10. I have a fanclub. (What's with the expression of shock!? X3)

People I have tagged:

1. Rave (I don't care, you'd better do this too. >.>)
2. Charmaine (Yes, you, dear sister)
3. Shane (And that's YOU, Wee Xuan)
4. Hui Yu (See? I'm not calling you Hui Y00. PLEASE do this?)
5. Jonny Angel (Stop moping and do this. >.>)
6. Sulynn (Lynn-channnn, please do this? Alex is begging. =3)
7. Hilary (SIRE EDMUND! ^^)
8. Alisa (Pwease?)
9. Jingyu (By command of the insane person sitting near you!)
10. Theodore (Yes, Mythic, I'm talking about you.)

2008-08-04T23:55:00.002+08:00

I'm really sorry for worrying everyone who bombarded me with messages. It's not like I never wanted to tell you... but something held me back. Selfishness? Worry? Fear?

I don't know. But I'm not alone... So, please, keep holding my hand.

I am lost in the darkness without a light. Please open my blinded eyes.

I am torn between two worlds. Help me make my own.

I am huddled up, crying. Hold me close and comfort me.

I would do the same. The darkness is my home. I am the light.

2008-08-04T23:53:00.001+08:00

I close my eyes as illusions shatter... It is done. For the sake of the future, and the memory of the past, I have to continue.

For a life lived, and a life that has yet to be lived.

The Chronicler sighs, and continues.

This pen will not be stilled.

This flame will not be extinguished.

This heart will not be silenced.

These eyes will not be blinded.

To a promise of better times, and the bond that our souls hold...

2008-08-04T14:47:00.002+08:00

I don't even know how I can focus so much on others even when I'm breaking. I'm breaking... falling apart... diving into the darkness... wishing for death...

I look at others and wonder how they carry on. I'm weak. Or am I strong? But it is the strong who are the weakest, and need the most protecting.

2008-08-04T14:43:00.002+08:00

I know that right now, I have two choices. To put it in angelic terms, I can either become fallen or die. I think I've fallen already, but I'm on the verge between teh two choices. Darkness and light war within me, the legacy of my human birthright...

Oh, Lord, won't you hear me? Won't you reach out to your children who are so alone? For your love is the greatest, and I was wrong to turn my anger against you... My Lord, don't leave me alone... never forsake me...

Darkness Comes...

2008-08-04T14:24:00.001+08:00

I stare you in the eye, with regret in mine and false friendship in yours. Maybe you thought I would never find out, or that I hadn't always known. It has always been the silent ones who were the best listeners. But let me tell you now, I'm not the only one who noticed. This is probably your last chance and last warning, but it's too bad you'll never read it. Sorry, but what goes around comes around. Still, I'm kind. Probably kind to the point of it being a flaw. I've covered it up with darkness and anger, but they don't work.

Two of the guys I'm closest to are breaking, or already broken. Sensei and Jonny... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't thinking, sorry I wasn't able to support you better. I am a failure as a student and as a friend. Was it because I was self-centred, I couldn't see what was happening around me? I think so.

With the way things are going now, it's probably better if I just cut off all ties with everyone then end it. There wouldn't be anymore annoying person pestering you, or to irritate you by showing you up on purpose. Wouldn't that be great? No more quiet person just listening in the conversation instead of participating, no more dark eyes watching silently. You could just keep your illusions, your delusions, with no fear of revelation.

My heart is already broken. I fear... no, I think it is beyond repair.

Somehow, I knew this would happen. Was that why everything inside me just broke? I'm sick both physically and mentally. Won't someone save me? Won't someone hear my voice?

My Graveyard

2008-07-30T18:00:00.002+08:00

My Graveyard

In this place, shadows creep

Here is where widows weep

From the clinging mist, tombstones loom

Like spirits yearning to escape from the gloom

'twixt withered blooms, spiders weave their webs silver

Rain like tears falls for a long-lost lover

Sunlight filters through the leaves

And wind whistles through the eaves

Even with flesh long-rotten

Memories are never forgotten

A snake draws back with a hiss

Complete silence reigns, all is at peace

I look at the sky weeping rain

I remember your smile, and forget the pain

You watch me from the heavens above

Your wings, they are as pure as a dove

For eternity, the wastelands I did rove

Now, it is my turn to learn to love

Goodbye, my darling fair

I feel your warmth caress me in the air

Last Chance

2008-07-30T17:34:00.003+08:00

Last Chance

The specter of the End

Falls across the land

Of twisted time and warped space

Dark Moon, burning sky

Azune's children fall by

Unnatural power, twisted Paradox

A light of Hope

Speaks of Revenge for the wasted lands

And a Sword for a knight

The saviours require Guidance

From Infinity, they are born

Before reality, the Maelstrom rends

Deities and mortals, hand in hand

Are brought together by the end

To face the madness of Insanity

Fear grips the bravest heart

To defend, we must play a part

To break the Seal of darkness

Then comes Distortion,

Where even divine retribution

Cannot give justice

Beware of the Deception,

For it destroys your perception

Of what is true and what is illusion

Oh, Children of Azune

Listen to the warning that the seers say

Beware the storm that gathers near

Listen to the wise man

For on the day that darkness falls

There will be suffering of the land

The sky will burn black

And the army of the moon will crash

The tree withers in darkness

The mind will shine bright

The goddess mother will call her children home

Then the time of the prophets will end

It means Death will come in black

The night will take root

Shine, the sun never will again

Until the world is reborn by the soul of a hero

My Hawk, Poem

2008-07-30T17:21:00.000+08:00

My Hawk

O'er the cloud-splashed skies

And across the dusky grey seas

The proud hawk soars far above me

On the cold, rushing wind

He rises beyond the reach of storms

His fierce amber eyes captivate

Their mix of blazing intelligence

And bestial, predatory instinct

His talons, like sharpened blades

Rend his enemies apart with implacable purpose

O, my Hawk, lord of the Skies

Let your reign never be ended

Lest you fall and to earth be shackled

Broken-winged and broken-hearted

Longing, for your call is to the heavens above

If the tempest tires those strong wings

I'd cradle you as I sing

Of the stars and the gale

Over which you reign as King

I would lift you high, if only I could

I beg, I plead, I cry

That before Reaper comes and you die,

To your feathers, grey will come

Return to me, O Hawk, return home

To warm hearth and secret smiles

2008-07-27T19:29:00.002+08:00

Now, everything is falling apart, like a jewel whose shatterpoint has been struck with enough force. How could I not see it coming? Endless rage consumes me in dark hatred, while despair draws some of those closest to me into the murky depths of hopelessness.

Hatred against the world. Hatred because of the people who will never know their true protector. For me, it isn't supposed to matter if I'm not understood, but it still hurts. Why am I always the one that you rely on, but still not the one you pay attention to? How am I repaid for my trouble? I am not... I would rather not be, but the way others who are meant to be the ones supporting you are instead destroying you sickens me. I am tired of this hypocritical world, and it is hard to remind myself that I am not of this world.

I look at you, and I try not to laugh in contempt. There is no comfort in mixing with idiots. There is no emotion left for me.

I burn in rage and drown in despair. I don't want to continue like this. I laugh as sorrow is burned from me, and there is nothing left but wish for destruction.

2008-07-24T20:22:00.003+08:00

I feel lost. I feel like I'm caught between two worlds. I know there's a double meaning in every word I say. I know that I am, literally, the Twilight. Caught between darkness and light, a shadow. What is this shadow life I lead? I am so weak, so detestable in my own weakness. I give in to temptation, and that I have gained forgiveness is amazing. Grace saved me, and I am ever thankful for that. How could I not be, because I am never truly alone, no matter how I feel?

But even now, I feel something like a fire eating away inside me. A flame that makes me close my eyes and sigh as I wish someone would just hold me and tell me it's alright. I never wished for such human contact before. I was raised without it. A wild, impulsive child whose front of defiant fire was just putting up a cold mask to hide the vulnerable soul inside.

For me, crying inside is much, much worse than crying on the outside. As a restrained person, I would rarely cry. But that does not mean I do not experience the same emotions, the same choking grief, the same vice that grips the heart in its icy grip. I am, after all, more human than I would like to be sometimes...

Right now, I'm trying to forget all of it and work up some sweat as I practise dancing. I think it's pretty obvious how much I love it, maybe even more than role-play. It's just the feeling of freedom and the satisfaction you get from pulling off a difficult move that I enjoy so much. So... time to glide, don't you think?

2008-07-22T21:29:00.002+08:00

Our lips can touch, and our cheeks, can brush.

You are the one I want to lie close to me, I fell in love, in love quite suddenly.

- Here In Your Arms, be Hellogoodbye

It's not the first time I'm featuring this song, but I've fallen in love with it all over again. It makes me feel odd, though...

There's a longing within me that I just can't banish
Until the day someone makes it vanish
There's a hole in my heart
Not healed by the strongest mystic art

Hehe, it's nice being able to write things on the spot. Not for Chinese, though... Argh, I just feel like staying up tonight. I have this weird feeling in my gut that there's something very important that I'm missing. I have to say, HOORAY that I put a passowrd on this.

2008-07-03T14:57:00.002+08:00

I don't know if I should scream in incoherent rage, weep in sorrow, or smile happily. Because those are all the emotions I feel right now, and they are tearing me apart. I cannot decide which of them is which, and it feels like I have a whirlpool inside of me, drawing me into the dark.

You know I hate being hurt, so why must you make me cry out in pain? Because I know I would give everything, including my life, to save a person... no matter who he or she was... Is that why it hurts when you just take advantage of that, and scorn me when my rage erupts? Do you know that when I hurt others, I am just pushing them away so I won't have to be hurt myself? ... No, you don't.

Even if I say things that seem cheerful, I can't always smile... But even when I smile, that smile is tainted by my pain. I wish I can just stop hurting... Y'see, when someone smiles in amusement, it doesn't always mean that person is happy. Not at all...

But, still, I'm glad that Ant-sensei is back, even if he does have a ton of work to do on the server due to missing his story production team who now have projects of their own.

2008-07-02T21:33:00.001+08:00

Wow, I'm really on a roll for today. 3 posts! Video-making is fun, so here's the NG video.

2008-07-02T16:27:00.003+08:00

If you hurt him, I swear I'll kill you. If you don't treasure him, I'll end your life. If you ever break his heart, I'll come after you. If you ever, ever make that person who I care about so much, who used to be the only one to make me cry... cry, I will never forgive you.

Ok, now I got that over with. Feel much better. Look dowwnnn for my video.

IDMI

2008-07-02T16:00:00.001+08:00

Our IDMI project is coming along... Still PLENTY to edit, though. Here's the video I did. I know it's a little short, but we're not allowed to have it too long.

My first video.

2008-06-30T19:20:00.002+08:00

This week looks like it'll be interesting, to say the least. IDMI week! Today's fieldtrip to MacRitchie didn't go so well, though.

Some of the people weren't really paying attention and kept making noise. Still, not everyone is interested in nature so you can't expect everyone to be as interested as I was. (Not that I'm bragging.) While it's true that they were a little noisy at times and I got hit by stones when some of the boys were kicking them, I don't think there's any need to insult us by saying that you didn't want to look at your pitiful faces anymore. We were polite enough to actually apologise, so if you don't want to be civil, it's not my problem. Not all of us were so disinterested, but I don't think you actually cared when you were sulking and complaining. If you don't want to act like an adult, it's not my problem either. I wasn't that angry earlier, just a little annoyed that no one paid attention, but you made my mood do a total turnaround. Thanks for ruining my day.

That aside, I keep missing Wan Yu 'cause whenever we get together to talk before or after school, we have to go very soon. -.- Sorry, girl. Let's dance another time.

Rennka Akaru (Ragnarok: The End of Time)

2008-06-26T21:32:00.000+08:00

Name: Rennka Akaru
Age: 26
Birthplace: In a world called Denaruu
Gender: Female
Species: Human
Height: 1.63 m
Weight: 52 kg
Occupation: Bandit Chief

Personal Equipment:
Weapons: A sword crafted by the bandit weaponsmiths, a small handgun which seemingly never runs out of ammunition which she found while making a raid on a village (it uses her latent magical energy, and so can damage ethereal creatures as well)
Clothing: A shirt of light woven cloth, and breeches
Armor: Studded leather
Backpack: A belt with pouches around her waist
Description:
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Brown, with some highlighted areas that are brighter
Hair Style: Feathered, past her shoulders and half-way down her back
Hair Length: Half-way down back
Skin Color: Medium
Body Frame: Lithe, muscled without being overly so

Sexual Preference: Males
Favorite Color: Green
Favorite Food: Game
Least Favorite Color: Yellow
Least Favorite Food: Liver
Hobbies: Training, reading, planning, messing with heads
Personality: Intelligent and articulate, her bandit group has thrived ever since she became its leader. She hungers for knowledge and is often one to ask question. Due to her occupation, people assume that she will be a complete barbarian. However, she is actually courteous unless provoked
Direct Family:
Father: Dead
Mother: Dead
Brothers: 1, missing
Sisters: 1, missing

Step Family:
Step Father: Lorlen Akaru, Recently deceased
Step Mother: Deceased

Connections:
Best Friends: Koren Umbra
Mentors / Teachers: Lorlen Akaru
Personal History:
She was originally from a merchant family, who fell upon bad fortunes and left for the country. That night, the village they were staying in was attacked by bandits. Her parents abandoned her, each one of them taking her brother and sister as they fled. She hid under the bed, but was ultimately found by bandits.
With the rage and desperation of a cornered animal, she broke a few noses with nothing but an old, beaten-up staff that she had found. Just before she was about to be finished off by the bandits, their leader stepped in. She passed out on the ground, and awoke later in the bandit village, to be told that the leader, Lorlen was adopting her.
He taught her much, mostly in using the sword as well as the staff. In the forest day by day, she grew in strength, an old scholar teaching her the ways of the written word, as well as teaching her one or two basic spells. Enough to cast a fireball, or heal a minor wound.
Eventually, she came upon her parents in another raid, which she had taken over due to her adoptive father not feeling well. Not recognising her, they begged for mercy. She strode over to them, eyes narrowing dangerously. It was at that moment that her father used the dagger he had behind his back, grabbing her in a hold and demanding to be allowed safe passage. In a fit of rage, she cast a fireball spell, beheading the both of them in two swift strokes.
Her brother and sister, watching from afar, were horrified and swore revenge. They escaped, going missing, never to be seen again.
When she returned, she found that her father was dying, old wounds gained in battle taking their toll upon his health. He gifted her a ‘Beast Eye’, the ability to draw upon her inner animal and his only legacy to her other than the leadership of the bandits. Unfortunately, he died before he could teach her how to use it.
Since then, she has left the bandits under the care of her old friend, Koren and gone travelling. Caught up in the collision of space and time, she has been sent to another world, without her staff or friends.
Family History: Lorlen was known as the 'Beast Eye Mage', one of the strongest. However, he rebelled against the King by refusing to kill a certain prisoner and was sent into exile. Due to this, he gathered his followers, accepting any who felt they had been wronged by the King. They became a group of bandits, preying on the villlages where the King's agents lived.

--------

This marks the introduction of a new RP. It isn't necessarily a Shadow War RP, but it's by the same people. Thanks to everyone who inspired me, 'specially sensei. ^^

2008-06-25T20:29:00.002+08:00

Hiak. Everytime I see it, I'm still impressed. I was just watching the Big Groove concert trailer. I actually attended the concert, for those of you who didn't know... But, still. It's embarassing that a 9-year old and 12-year old can dance better than me. I'm not that talented a dancer or anything, but I still love dance because it feels good to move. I'm still wondering how such talent can exist. There're even people who aren't that much older than me, but they move with a lot more finesse. I mean, they're even part of professional dance groups! How cool is that?

We're going to be having the EDS Handover soon... I'm going to miss all the Year 4s, because they were all really nice seniors who welcomed us to EDS. I hope that when I have my own juniors next year, they'll see me in the same light. Not to mention, it'll be time for the SYF by then. I hope we do well!

Current Song: Amaranth, by Nightwish

Song She's Thinking Of: Swan, by Secret Garden

2008-06-24T19:53:00.002+08:00

This is my first post in a long time. I guess... I'm fine. School started, and I'm oddly satisfied with the fact that I'm back.

But somehow, there's still something nagging at me. I just can't put my finger on it. It's like... I'm forgetting something that is very important to me. Right now, I'm somewhere between having fallen into the void and being happy.

I smile, yes, but I don't always mean it... It seems that sad smiles are my domain now, because I just can't seem to stop doing them. Bittersweet tragedy.

But there's still hope.

It's good to be dancing again, using muscles I haven't used in ages. Of course, it's taking a toll on me, but it actually... feels good. No, I'm not a sadist. I just enjoy dance a lot. To prepare for the SYF, us dancers are undergoing P.T. Gasp. In horror. No, I didn't transfer to NPCC. They get it worse, except that we have to do dance for 2 hours BEFORE running on the track. We go three rounds at the beginning, that makes 1.2 km. After that, we returned to the dance and drama room and did a total of 55 pushups. It's not that bad, actually. But we're going to do sprinting soon. If we get caught by the person chasing us or don't catch the person we're chasing, we have to do 10 pushups at the end. Bevan's evil. I know it. Still, I'll miss dance practice... We're not having it this Friday, next week, or next Monday. That's 4 training sessions gone! Argh! My left arm kinda hurts, though... I shifted my weight and ended up doing a few pushups on one arm before I moved again.

But... the best news I have so far? Ant-sensei's back! He said he had a great time on his break, and I'm glad. ^^ Even if he did worry about the server and stuff, he deserves to have some time off. And he did a very impressive job at taking 700 pictures in 2 days. I didn't even take that much in a month-long holiday to Hong Kong... *was kinda busy running from the camera*

I've been talking a lot to people I never really chatted to on the server before, like D. Ant said that we're very alike... And she's just a lonely girl wanting attention. I have to agree, I know how she feels.

Also been chatting with Zak. And guess what, he's a Christian too! We talk a lot now. In fact, those are the longest offline IM conversations I've ever had, lol. It's nice to see that I'm not alone in this world. And that I may resemble others even more than I realise.

In the end, I just want to help people... but for me, it's always hardest to help myself. I can cry, I can scream... But it always seems easier for me to rush to the aid of others. Ah, well, I'll end this post here for now.

2008-06-12T21:07:00.003+08:00

My last post before heading off for chuch camp! I'm excited, but not as much as I was last year. Maybe because I have to share a room with my mother. Ugh. Agh. Ack. Eyargh. GUH!

*ahem* Who is even now bugging me to log off like some annoying person that I can barely tolerate. Didn't I say that I wouldn't bring my luggage out of my room until tomorrow morning? No? Oh, wait. You have a horrible memory.

2008-06-12T14:11:00.003+08:00

Far away, long ago... glowing dim as an ember. Things my heart used to know, once upon a December.

Hands shoke her awake, light glinting in the darkness as she blinked. A concerned face showed itself before her, lips moving to form words.
"Are you alright? You were crying in your sleep."

'I was?' She thought, reaching up to feel the wetness on her cheeks. 'I was.'

"Go back to sleep," she said, smiling, "it must just be the humidity of this place."
------------
Part I, to be continued.

2008-06-09T21:10:00.002+08:00

Darn, but the song Nothing I Won't Give by Vic Mignogna is totally stuck in my head.

Haunted by the past
A nightmare that seemed so unreal
I wish that I could turn back time
And spare the pain that we both feel
And now we�ve changed
Things will never be the same
(Things will never be the same)

We were foolish then
But our trials served to make us strong
The burdens are not yours alone
We�ve sought the answers for so long
But they�re not free
They cost you more than they cost me
(My brother�)

I promise you, there is nothing I won�t give
To see this through
Return the soul to where it lives
I promise you, I�d go everywhere I�ve been
To find a way to make atonement for my sin and see
See your smiling face again

When we�ve paid the price at last
And we are whole once more
Life will be the way it was
The way it was before the day
She slipped away
Together we�ll redeem that day

And I promise you, there is nothing I won�t give
To see this through
Return the soul to where it lives
I promise you, I�d go everywhere I�ve been
To find a way to make atonement for my sin and see
See your smiling face�

(I promise�)[3 x]

I promise you, there is nothing I won�t give
To see this through
Return the soul to where it lives
I promise you, I�d go everywhere I�ve been
To find a way to make atonement for my sin and see
See your smiling face again

There ya go. It's the FMA theme song, I think, so if you know the anime you should realise what the song is referring to. I find it so sad... V_V

I think boredom has killed my brain. Bah. Humbug.

2008-06-07T18:50:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday, Charlene... Wait, I can't believe I said that. Shall edit this post later to reflect pics, so stay tuned.

2008-06-06T20:23:00.002+08:00

I skipped cell group today, wasn't feeling so good... To tell the truth, I haven't been doing that well either emotionally. Teen angst, stress and boredom don't exactly help out. Earlier on, my dog was barking his head off wanting attention and to go out of the room, but my parents are having cell group. Oh well, that's why he's now sitting next to me on the chair, leaning against me. Not that I mind, he makes an excellent hot water bottle.

I don't really know what to post... Suddenly shivering and feeling cold, darn air-conditioning. Here's the link to one of the most awesome voice actors of all time's MySpace: Vic Mignogna

---------
Did this post on Friday, but forgot to post it. There ya go.

2008-06-05T20:06:00.003+08:00

Ooh, lookie, it's my hundredth post. Not like the ones before weren't almost totally nonsense, anyway. *sets off firecrackers, party poppers and confetti throwers*

Even if it shall never come true, let us dream away.

I've been unusual these past few days. Unusually down, or unusually cheerful. The emoness is taken out in my characters, though, so I'm not a very emo person to talk to right now. ^^ Sarcasm level shot up quite a bit, RP-wise.

I'm really concerned about Ant, 'cause he's taking a lot of flak right now. I don't really want to go into detail, but he has family problems and a whole lot of other crap to deal with. It doesn't help that the people on the RP server aren't exactly being co-operative.

2008-06-04T20:01:00.003+08:00

I can't help but wonder if I should even bother blogging... Since my posts often turn into philosophical ramblings and I always get distracted by something. Most likely an MSN window. I don't even think that many people are reading my blog, anyway... But I'll just post, if only to amuse myself.

Funny video I found.

Another funny video, brought to you by Dunman High's Volleyball team of 04.

I think EDS might be performing for Youth Day. Years 1s would love to dance too, but... Anyway, Wan Yu and I were talking about cheorographing a dance, but I don't think that many people were enthusiastic about the idea... V_V

Ooh, I have a nice scary video for y'all here. Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hG3zRM_ur0

2008-06-03T21:51:00.002+08:00

I'm hyper, but sad. Talk about a paradox. But right now, I know I'm damn annoyed by a certain someone's nagging. Which I shall always be annoyed by. Gah. Shall post later.

Church Camp

2008-05-29T15:37:00.002+08:00

I'm wondering if I should bring my laptop to church camp. I hope I can, that way I can work on my LA homework. I have the ideas for my stories/poems already, but I have to type them out. For those of you eagerly anticipating the next update, I think I'll work on Leaving too. I swear, that story is going to be novel-length at the very least. And then we have Homeoming, where I haven't finalised the plot yet. But I have to finish Leaving first! I also think I'm going to rewrite the songs I put in to be original piecse by me. Or to become poems. Same thing, blah.

Anyway, it's from 13 June to 16th June, I think. Either that or 17th June. Shall most likely be rushing homework after that, hehe.

2008-05-29T13:04:00.002+08:00

9 years have passed so fast, but I feel like I've known you forever. We've grown up together, matured into what we are now. We used to play together, remember? Wrestling with you on the floor for food, then running like a person possessed through the house with you chasing me. You stealing my food when I was not careful, giving me something to cry onto when the world comes falling apart around me. You making me laugh at your antics, then giggle madly as you snuggle into me.

Jackie darling, whatever happens, I'm going to miss you. I'll always miss you, because you're more than just a dog. You're my best friend and, as I claim, boyfriend. My precious doggie boy.
----------------------

Been so bored around here, I've been listening to piano covers of songs on Youtube. Oh, and you should check out ModistOne's channel, he's freakin' awesome. He played a great cover of Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk. Plus, he's the guy who did Numb. If you can, check out the piano version of In The End posted by Mihawk86. It's loveeeeee.

RP server's been a little more lifely than usual, because Raynar's around a lot more due to him leaving for boot camp soon... V_V Noooooo, Ria's going to be so lonely. Oh well, at least she has a friend in Pride. >.> Yes, there's a character called Pride. Cue in the 'Pride was my downfall' jokes, heh. Good luck at Marine boot camp, Ray-Ray, and you'd better come back in one piece.

Sadly, I rarely chat with Ant anymore. V_V He's normally busy as soon as he gets on the server, and anyway, I'm letting he and Lily have their alone time. I have a new character to entertain me: Miles Bayer. Hotshot pilot, you know the type... What? I know I like hotshot types, so stop looking at me like that. *glares at random person*

And I haven't seen Trist since forever! Where'd you go...? V_V I'm getting bored with no one interesting to chat with on MSN. Not that I don't have anyone to talk to, but...

Fine, I'll admit it. I'm lonely. Lily's having school, Ant's working/sleeping/busy, Trist is MIA, Raynar is going to leave, Shen doesn't talk much and the server is mostly for RPing. I miss school, oddly. Yes.... I... Miss... School... What the heck is wrong with me!? Well, I don't miss the lessons or anything, but I miss chatting with my friends.

... And damn it, but I miss 6I'07. I've been hearing about 6I'08 and I think we should all go back to give them a pep talk! Speaking of which... class gathering. I heard about it, and...
It's now ONLY on 10th June, at Kallang Leisure Park. Time not decided yet, but I was thinking 1- 6 at the very least, maybe including dinner or lunch? Drop me a message, I need to know.

Freak

2008-05-27T12:58:00.002+08:00

For the words one must speak, one requires a setting. It is thus that the scene is born from the depths of one's mind, the creation of a world that bends to one's whim.

There is light everywhere, this glorious place that dances with the purity of magic. The very air itself is filled with clean, refreshing scents. One of them rises above all- the scene of roses. Yet, this place is but a forest bordering a cliff, with the sea in all its glory crashing mightily against the solid, unyielding rock. Yet, the rock will slowly recede; inch by inch, year by year. One day, this cliff will fall and all that remains will no longer be filled by any remnant of its former glory.

How fitting, for this is the way of nature. That nothing is eternal, and everything is subject to change. Humans and all other lifeforms live and die, their bodies returning to the ground. The tide ebbs and flows, changing the shoreline.

"So, what am I?" A question asked, aimed at the clear skies above. "A freak, because I have broken this natural cycle?"

It is then that one realises, a forest that should have been alive with birdsong and the sounds of life is completely silent but for the sound of the tree leaves rustling with a faint breeze.

"You are not a freak," a voice replies, confidently, with the weight of truth behind it. "Know that even if you are, I will stand by you."

"... This freak thanks you," the one who asked the question, a female, stands from where she was sitting on the edge of the cliff.

Hair the colour of spun gold, which was once shoulder-length but now reaches past her waist, is tied into a braid. Where armour would have protected, there is a pure white robe with gold accents. An embroidered dragon winds its way up the back of the robe, the detail on it simply exquisite. Plain sandals are all that is between her feet and the ground, a barrier that does not represent her inability to draw magic related to the earth beneath her feet. Piercing green eyes, with a sheen of amber over, burned with a fire.

"I think it's about time to meet with the gods," she says, a smirk visible on her face.

Female laughter, warm and amused, drifts in on the breeze. It is hers. The world turns pure, blinding white as it falls apart.

Ebrith Sal'Korn sat back as she watched her brother being chased by kitchen utensils. A smile still visible on her face, she brushed an imaginary speck of dust off the black leather she wore. Ebrith stood up, tracing a quick rune in the air. Her signature green and gold armour appears on her, as she smirks.

"Gotta go, guys. Father's calling."

~ Finis ~
----------------

Random oneshot written 'cause I'm bored.

2008-05-26T20:29:00.002+08:00

Since I owe this to someone...

Thanks, Shane, for helping out with the DoTA competition. Though you're really annoying when you keep insisting on getting your way.

Oh, and thanks for losing my entire stack of sheet music and for pretending that you had to go when I said you had to reprint it for me. Hmph. Then calling and asking me to play DoTA 'cause you wanted to thrash me.
-----

Anyway, I created a new blog for the sole purpose of posting all my character bios! There are two categories: Azune's Hope and SWS. Basically, they're from two different storylines where they branch out. SWS would be Shadow War Saga, and Azune's Hope would be Ant's RP.

View it at: http://the-different-faces-of-a-writer.blogspot.com/

2008-05-20T20:29:00.002+08:00

I hate feeling like this
I'm so tired of trying to fight this
I'm asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to You
Tell me that You will listen
You're touch is what i'm missing
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing You
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of You
I don't wanna live, I dont wanna breathe
'Les I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way You make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
I hate living without You
Dead wrong to ever doubt You
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Oh how I adore You
Oh how I thirst for You
Oh how I need You
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of You
I don't wanna live, I dont wanna breathe
'Les I feel You next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
Breathing life
Waking up
My eyes open up
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of You
I don't wanna live, I dont wanna breathe
'Les I feel You next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way You make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
Oh how I adore You
Waking up to You never felt so real
Oh how I thirst for You
Waking up to You never felt so real
Oh how I adore You
The way You make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real

------------
You're there, but you're not there. This world is what frustrates me the most. Seeing you, knowing you... but when I reach out, you're not there. Is this a dream, a mystic vision of what could have been? I think not, I hope not.

A ghost, a phantom. Is that what I have become? A fleeting memory in a life filled with pain. When I go, what do I leave behind? Will these footprints fade, washed away by the waves of time?

To leave a legacy behind... to be remembered. That is the goal of men. Their immortality lies in the legends that are told about them, never dying out.
-----------

I have to admit, I'm kinda bored. It's not that I have nothing to do, it's that I have nothing that I'm willing to do. On that note, I despise RS. It's a major waste of time, and we don't have enough time for our preparations. Even an extra day would be of great use, but apparently not. Enough blogging for now, I'm being annoyed by my family and I have work to do. *grumbles* Counting surveys. Which took Sui Xin 3 days. How in the world am I supposed to do this, and train for the DoTA competition?

No idea, I guess I'll just go with the flow. Fake it. Like I always do. It's the main talent of RPers. *grins*

2008-05-19T21:17:00.000+08:00

I'm going to have a new blog template soon. Argh. HTML is going to be a pain in the ass, though.

2008-05-19T15:58:00.002+08:00

6I'07 gathering is during the early part of the 3rd week of June hols! Yay! Events are: ice-skating, escape/wild wild wet and a trip out to the movies! Okay, maybe I should have said class gatherings. Still, it's going to be great fun... Once I'm done organising. ._.

Bwahaha, I don't wanna talk much about level camp, or I'll end up wasting more time blogging. So there. =P

Nah. Last day was funfunfunfun. I couldn't wake up after sleeping late the night before. XD See, I'm not a morning person. I'm nocturnal. After bla bla bla, breakfast and stuff... We went to D' Tent for the finale.

We were awarded the Sunshine Olympian award, and I almost started choking at that. Right, Sunshine. *COUGH* And Mrs. Chin said that since my class got the Sunshine award, I should smile more. I don't see the point in smiling needlessly, though...

Then the OMGWTFHAHAHASUPER fun part was when they played the Level Song. People started dancing, we got dragged on the stage... And I found Sue Hwee! We then proceeded to dance like crazy, possessed clubbers. Too bad they had no trance.

After that, got picked up by Ah Fun Yiyi... Went back home, ate udon before falling asleep until 10+ at night. Woke up, showered, ate... Played/read until 6+ in the morning before falling asleep again and waking up 3+, but lazing in bed until 4+ when a certain annoying relative left the house.

I'm so bored, I'm putting in RP news.

Leaving is being worked on again, so yay for those people who were bugging me. Jabp is slowly being revived just in time for my holidays. I'm busy angsting 90% of the time, with the other 7% being eating and sleeping. Remaining 3% would be just sitting back to relax without feeling like there's a constant pressure on me. I started work on a competition essay, but I don't know if I can finish it by the deadline. I'm going to try though, because the theme is pretty interesting to me. I chose it after all. *smirks* It's what a possible future for Earth could be like, with people replacing their bodies with cybernetic parts. Obviously, with my current mood, it's going to be dark and angsty with a lot of self-reflection.

Trance is, incredibly, helping out a lot. It doesn't get stuck in my head easily, and the beats are helping with my headache. Oh, and I noticed the moon is really clear and bright tonight.
----
When I didn't see you in all that time, I thought anything that could have happened was dead and gone. But now, you appear again, and the fire that was dead roars to life again. You're different, and I'm sorry for what happened to you. Don't worry, I'll help take care of you. We're... friends, aren't we? And that's what friends do. I'll do nothing more and nothing less to make you question that. This is the burden I must carry, and the price I must pay. For your future, I must wear this fake smile and continue walking on.
----

I'm haunted. My call is without words, without a way to say, I could never walk away

2008-05-13T06:51:00.003+08:00

I'm posting this just before leaving for the level camp... Meh, got my sis to do my identity tag for me, but but it didn't really turn out well. V_V Anyway, it's not like I really have a choice. Hope I have fun later, and NO ONE WILL NAG ME TO DEATH. UGH. It's annoying.

2008-05-12T21:09:00.002+08:00

Ah, level camp is tomorrow! I still haven't done my identity tag, so I'm asking my older sister to help out. Pretty much got everything that should be done, done... But for some reason, I feel like I'm missing something.

*hugs laptop* I'm sorry I have to leave you, I'm sorry!*overly dramatic sigh* And the server is going to die without me around. Most painfully, I might add.

To people who posted links on the tagboard, i.e. Sabrina and Xinhui, I'll add you when I get back from level camp... Thinking about changing my blogskin again. I'm also going to upload more of Leaving onto the SWS blog. So check it out please, and leave your comments.
----
I'm haunted. I'm wanted.

2008-05-11T17:47:00.003+08:00

My 88th post? Wonder if that'll be lucky... I would love to post about EDS Night right now, but for some reason, I don't feel like it. Maybe when I get the video, I will. But let me tell you, it was freakin' awesome. Made me remember why I loved dancing...

It's very close to the DHS Year 1 level camp! If I haven't mentioned it before, we're going to be staying in chalets at Downtown East, which is pretty cool. I'm sharing a room with register numbers 10 through 16, not including me. Looks like it's going to be fun, even though some of my friends are in other chalets.

Fusion Night... I wonder what we'll be doing. I shall admit, I'm hoping for drama/dance. Remember, I am from EDS. It's what we do. *grins* But if we had a play or something, I would love to help on the script. If it's a dance... Also fun.

Hehe, I've got to go for a bit now, but I'll post again later if I can.

2008-04-26T01:11:00.002+08:00

I couldn't sleep, so I decided to blog a little. It's been really long since I posted, sorry! I've been my usual... emo self, haha. Not really, but there were some events that made me withdraw quite a bit.

The good news is that I worked on Leaving, writing another original piece for it. I think I'll call it 'Why?' seeing as that word appears so many times.

Why?
You disappeared when I needed your strength the most
I fought alone, and fell
I gave up everything to win, no matter what the cost
I wanted to be by your side, even if it meant going to hell
Why?
All I could do was die
I wanted you to heal me
But the wounds and barriers between us
Never let the salvation in
I cried when you weren't there
That's how much I needed you
Why?
When I left everything behind, washed away by my tears
I fought with my fears
I put everything I had on the line
But you never came for me
Why?
Do you even care anymore?
Is the promise I made still in your memory?
I never meant you
When I said I never wanted to see those faces again
I never meant yours
You brought me back from the edge of despair
You crossed the line into insanity
They can say that I am powerful beyond belief
I can kill and not die, never getting relief
It means nothing without you
My spirit wanders among many others, alone in a crowd
Your soul leads you through the wastelands
I had everything to lose, then I had nothing
You had nothing to lose, then you had something
I never could say what I felt
I didn't believe it myself
Impossible feelings, these emotions
It always was our custom,
To surpass what was called impossible
It was so obvious that I cared
I just never knew how much
In these midnight tears from the realms beyond,
Will I find the answer to my question?
Is this fire, or is this ice?
Is this light, or is this darkness?
Is it you, or is it me?

If anything, I realised how much I needed writing. I needed to express my emotions in a story, to cry along with the characters, to smile along with them. They are, in a way, me. *waves hand and smiles sadly* I think I'll keep off that subject, it's best not to think about why I'm feeling this way right now.

EDS on Friday was... interesting. It was actually the least intense lesson we had so far, because Bevan spent much of it on the level dances with the Year 4s and 3s. Of course, we did practise by ourselves, but we started chatting after a while. Seeing as something had happened to a certain someone that day, we started on crushes. Haha, my senior joined in too.

A certain *cough*SOMEONE*cough* had a guy confess to her that day, so I was flipping out. It was actually quite funny. Though I think the falling to the floor, twitching, before 'dying' was a little overdramatic. But I'm an overdramatic person. =P Though, seriously, it did hurt quite a bit, because it reminded me of something that I thought I had given up on a long time ago...

EDS Night is next week! Eeekk! *laughs nervously* Oh dear...

I've recently been thinking about learning to play the piano, but I decided not to. Instead, I'll just choose specific songs and learn how to play them. And... the Fate/Stay Night songs are really nice!
---------
Music!

In The End imported by nicateen91

Show Me Tha Money uploaded by jasmlim

2008-04-02T20:55:00.002+08:00

Oh yes, I forgot to post some pictures. Here they are.

And 'cause I'm so nice, none of them are edited, lol.

2008-04-02T20:36:00.002+08:00

I needed a break, so I searched my horoscope. Guess what came out?

Astrologers broadly agree that the following are common Piscean characteristics: [3] The Pisces person is playful, friendly, hypnotizingly charming, flexible, nurturing, free-spirited, carefree, romantic, happy, sensitive, mystical, enchanting, smart, emotional, reverent, creative, loving, easygoing, fun, shy, spontaneous, sympathetic, compassionate, intuitive, unworldly, wise, open minded, caring, devoted, mysterious, liberal, humorous, innocent, imaginative, understanding, perceptive, tolerant, benevolent, self-sacrificing and artistic

They can also sometimes be distracted, detached, illusory, impractical, gullible, neglectful, escapist, lazy, erratic, undependable, aloof, moody, fickle, confused, depressed, irresponsible, distant, goal-less, complicated, a lack of motivation, and have dependency issues.

Positive traits:

friendly
hypnotizing charm
flexible
nurturing
free-spirited
romantic
happy
sensitive
mystical
enchanting
smart
emotional
reverent
creative
loving
easygoing
fun
spontaneous sympathetic
compassionate
intuitive
unworldly
wise
open minded
caring
devoted
liberal
humorous
shy
innocent
imaginative
understanding
perceptive
tolerant
benevolent
self-sacrificing
artistic

Negative traits:

distracted
detached
illusionary
impractical
gullible
escapist
lazy
erratic aloof
moody
fickle
confused
depressed
complicated

Likes: Feeling appreciated, freedom, stability, mystical settings/enchantment, dreaming, having their input valued, being unique

Dislikes: Feeling vulnerable, having no goals to move towards, feeling invalidated, being criticized, illiteracy, noisy scenes and displays, having no sense of structure

Ideal careers: caring for animals, artists, poets, writers, actors, engineers, psychics.

Between the winter and spring seasons. Pisces individuals are said to express their mutable duality in an emotional manner characteristic of water signs, fluctuating from one emotional extreme to the other. The symbol of Pisces is that of two fish swimming in opposite currents to one another. Quite often individuals who are strongly influenced by Pisces feel a deep frustration in their lives because they are being pulled in two opposing directions at the same time. Some individuals will try to stick with one path and others will try to maintain both paths, which is often unrealistic. Others try to maintain one path, but periodically veer onto the other path.

Sooooo, that's my Western horoscope. Let's see what my Chinese one says.

The Pig type is usually an honest, straightforward and patient person. They are a modest, shy character who prefers to work quietly behind the scenes. When others despair, they are often there to offer support. This type of person is reserved with those they do not know too well, but as time passes and they gain confidence, those around them may discover a lively and warm-hearted person behind that mask of aloofness. Despite those born in the derstand them and share their inner thoughts and feelings. It is easy to put trust in pig type; they won't let you down and will never even attempt to do so. Such people simply want to do everything right according to social norms.

It is important to remember that these people are not vengeful creatures. If someone tries to take advantage of them, the pig type tend to withdraw to reflect on the problem and protect themselves. All they need in such situations is a little time to find a constructive way to respond. The people of the pig type are conservative creatures of habit. They dislike being made to travel too far from familiar surroundings, unless it is a trip to the countryside. They love nature and are never happier than when they are out somewhere, far from the city.

There is a tolerant and peaceful side to their character. Such people are never afraid to allow others their freedom of expression; they do not want to cause arguments and if there is any way to avoid arguing, they will probably take this option. However, they are not weak and if the situation forces them to fight these people will rise to the occasion, whether it is to defend themselves or those close to them.

The bolded part surprised me, lol. Heh, anyway... Super-tired, for some reason. I kept falling asleep in class. Argh. Tomorrow's Thursday. That means PE. Hope I don't overexert myself and nearly pass out on the track again. The last time was bad enough.

*winces* Man, some people would kill me if they knew I hadn't been taking care of myself again. I'm SORRY! Jeez, overprotective much? Ah, I got another story idea today. It's for the childhood of some of my characters. It's amazing, even as a child and young teenager, Ebrith REALLY got into some big trouble. What kind of trouble? Um, well, you'll see. She does have a tendency to use herself as bait... I'll say nothing more for now.
--------
Now that unreachable song has been swept far away into the wind

2008-04-01T19:23:00.002+08:00

Leaving, Ice and Fated are currently on hold, with the last one going to be edited a bit before I'm done with it. Fanfiction fans are going to be disappointed, since I won't be able to update any of the stories anytime soon. Sorry! With the way things are going now, however, I'll likely have plenty of ideas once my brain wakes up.

Which it likely won't. But I can hope. Heh, been chatting a lot more with some old friends this week, it's nice to see that everyone's doing fine.

For those who haven't heard yet, which won't be many, since the grapevine is especially effective, we''' be staying in a chalet. Hopefully. If I can get the logistics done. But if we do, AWESOME! No, this isn't talking about the DHS Year 1 Level Camp.

As Abby said, nothing is impossible for a class that's broken more records and made more memories than most classes in TNS history. Feel the effect, live the dream.

2008-03-31T20:47:00.002+08:00

Heh, if you've noticed, I've changed a few things on my blog. Other than the fact that the music that plays in my tagboard window is now Holding On by Ferry Corsten, you'll see that I've added music to my welcome window. It's one of the songs from Fate/Stay Night, which is a really awesome anime. If you've seen the anime, search the song name. The lyrics are really sad, especially if you know what they're referring to. Which is Saber leaving Shirou. I'll admit, I cried at the last episode.

As usual, things seem to fluctuate a lot. I've not been really happy for a long time. At most, only a glimpse of satisfaction before reality intrudes and brings me down. It seems that a few of my friends haven't managed to escape it either. Life can really suck sometimes, huh, guys?

Relationship problems, work problems, family problems... I'm sorry I can't help you solve them. But do know that I'm here for you anytime, like you were here for me when it was hurting the most.

It's a teen thing. I'm quite sure it's a teen thing. Even when you're surrounded by friends, one can feel so lonely... When there's no one who understands you as well as a certain someone, it seems that all things pale by comparision. You don't speak up, because you don't want to hurt them. But in the end, you end up driving them away when the bitterness and inner pain surfaces.

Being emo can be fun, you realise. It gives you a whole new look on life, and you're able to see the faults you were so blind to. When you have friends who support and understanding you, all the pain that you go through seems to lessen. It's the crushing shame that hurts the worse. When those you respect and admire have to see you in this state. You don't want this to happen, you really don't. But somehow, it happened. It's all your fault, and you know it. But you can't bring youself to change it. Where you'd do anything for a friend, you can't seem to do for yourself.

But enough with the philosophy. Here's a preview for Ice, reviews and suggestions are appreciated. Also, I added a tagboard to the Shadow War Stories blog. Please read and review. Ice is a possible crackfic, with my character complaining about her dislike of cold. I feel your pain, my room's air-conditioning is sub-zero. ._.
-------------------

It was cold. In that land of frozen, forbidding mountains, it was cold. It was not the gentle cold, the cool breeze that caressed your cheeks, turning them rosy. No, this was the harsh, piercing cold that was felt deep down inside.

She was weak. Only the weak feared the cold. Her teammates shrugged it off, other than the occassional comment about 'freezing' their 'asses off'. Granted, they were wearing warmer clothing than her, but that was because thicker clothing would impede her fighting skills all the more. Worse, she had lost the ability to use and control firecraft. She knew that Charl would give it back soon, once she was done needing it, but she missed her control over the element all the more.

This cold. It burned. Frost-fire, she called it. It was fitting. Her limbs were all now entirely numb and what was left of her was starting to lost feeling. A shiver ran down her spine, as she slowed her pace a bit, waiting for the others to catch up.

It's cold! Cold!? I don't do cold. What the hell is it with this place, anyway? It can't be possible for ANYWHERE to be this cold!
-----------

And that's it for now, ladies and gentlemen. Check back soon on the random rambles of the Shadow Queen.

2008-03-20T18:44:00.002+08:00

Songs I like:

Sexy Love, by Ne-yo

Because Of You, by Ne-yo

Every Time We Touch, by Cascada

Truly, Madly, Deeply, cover by Cascada (Original by Savage Garden)

Crash 'n' Burn, by Savage Garden

Last Night, by P. Diddy feat. Keisha Cole

The Last Night, by Skillet

Say Goodbye, by Skillet

Whispers in the Dark, by Skillet

Saviour, by Skillet

Looking For Angels, by Skillet

Comatose, by Skillet

Falling Inside The Black, by Skillet

Forsaken, by Skillet

Open Wounds, by Skillet

Under My Skin, by Skillet

Kill me, heal me, by Skillet

Collide, by Skillet

Rebirthing, by Skillet

Angels Fall Down, by Skillet

Better Than Drugs, by Skillet

Yours To Hold, by Skillet

Imperfection, by Skillet

Listen To Your Heart, by DHT

Requiem For A Dream(Instrumental), by Clive Mansell

------------

Songs I like, part I. And if anyone notices that a lot of these are rock songs, yeah. I do like rock. I like songs from almost any genre, so my music taste is pretty diverse.

A song from Vitamin C that I hope everyone recognises.
--------------
I just can't do it.

2008-03-19T22:32:00.002+08:00

Just dropping by for a while. I really can't afford the time I take to post, so this is just a little update.

Been a little depressed lately, don't ask. I'm freakin' buried under a mountain of homework. So, yeah, um, anyone's help would be appreciated. Majorly. I can't FILE! I'm so dead for Science file check. V_V If I get 0 for it, I'd better buck up in everything else. *sighs* I hate my printer. Everything I print, but for black and white WORDS, comes out pink. I have a pink overdose. Someone rescue me.
-----
Broken up, deep inside

EDS Camp

2008-03-15T18:08:00.002+08:00

To anyone who asks, I don't know who the heck Sparkleme is. I swear. Or whatever.

EDS camp was fun. It started on Thursday, and ended on Friday. Thanks a lot to security concerns, we couldn't stay overnight. V_V Oh well, we had fun, anyway.

Thursday

After taking attendance, we dumped our stuff in 4L. A short briefing before going off to play games in the Parade Square. EARTHQUAKE! EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Hehe. Played Double Whacko too. Awesome games.

Broke into our groups after that, then played a few group games. Whoever wrote 'I climbed up the flagpole into the sky, and got married on a satellite', damn you. I had to act that out. =.= Moving onnn... Playing Captain's Ball with more than 2 teams at one time. We would have won, but then SOMEONE bullied us. Hmph. Benjamin. I think some of the NPCCs were glaring at us, especially when it was announced that we were having Captain's Ball next. Poor people.

I shall skip all the parts that have slipped my memory. Now for the highlight of the day: Water Bomb War. We broke into our groups, and filled up our water bombs. But while we were filling 'em up, the Comm kept throwing their ready-made water bombs at us. So I went around, asking for an alliance with the other groups. So did one of my group leaders, until every single group had agreed not to bomb each other, but to attack the Comm instead. It started raining, but we just went ahead with the game. After all, we were going to get wet, anyway. After we ran out of plastic bags cum water bombs, I grabbed the remaining pails of water and charged at the Comm members. Naturally, they got soaking wet. It's WAR!

Went out for dinner after that. EDS rocks. I'll end this post here for now, and talk about Friday tomorow.
-----------------
You don't even know me

2008-03-03T21:18:00.002+08:00

Jazzy has a bad headache, so she's going to talk about herself in the third person. Today was her birthday, which started off with a nice surprise from Kai Ning. Thanks.

Unfortunately, school is evil. Which is why Jazzy has a bad headache now, and felt like throwing up earlier. Jazzyhas to go do homework now.

Of course, Jazzy wants to play with her iPod Touch, but there's that darned homework. Oh, and Jazzy would be very happy if anyone told her the answer to the density worksheet.
----
What goes around comes around

2008-02-29T20:41:00.002+08:00

Just got kicked out from my room, lol. Apparently, I'm not allowed to sit in air-conditioned comfort, with a blanket and a laptop. No idea why not, but hey, I'm always wrong when it comes to things like this. After all, don't they say that mother always knows best? Even if you can argue with her on science and solve questions faster than she can when she tries to 'help with homework'.

Pah. I'm annoyed. When someone settles down, she doesn't like being moved around. And she does not like people spouting random nonsense at her. Especially if that nonsense is that she's wrong, for whatever reason.
----------

Meh, I'm bored to hell. I have to sleep now. *sighs*

2008-02-28T14:34:00.001+08:00

All That Jazz uploaded by paws2008
C'mon babe, we're going to paint the town...
Haha, that's All That Jazz, a song we once did a performance to.

2008-02-27T22:16:00.002+08:00

OMGOMGOMGOMG! Step Up 2 is out! X3 But only in the US! I'm so going to go watch it! I adore the dances. It would be so awesome. *gets starry eyes*

I can't wait for Monday, it's going to be awesome. I'm getting my Ipod Touch! And for those who haven't realised it yet.. Monday is 3rd March. Yeah, my birthday. *jumps around happily* I hope I get to see the people who I've been missing so much!

2008-02-27T18:20:00.002+08:00

Ugh. Hate it when I get sick. No, scratch that. I HATE IT WHEN I GET SICK, DAMMIT! Okay, that feels better. Been in a really bad mood lately.

My father found out that the time settings on my account were changed to none at all. That means I have unlimited time. So, he accused me of changing them. Like dude, the only time I changed them last was when my mom was around, and she was watching me. Because I refused to admit to changing the time settings, which I obviously didn't, he blanked them all out. That means I cannot use my computer, at any time of the day. Whatever. I can stay back in school. Who says I need to rely on you, you Facebook addict? What crap. Your logic is utterly circular. Let's not even get started on why you want to use two computers to access Facebook at the same time. And anyway, the last one to touch my settings was you. I noticed you switched the activity reporting on. I can't believe you thought I cried because I was scared of you. No, I cried because I was so angry, if I didn't show some form of emotion, I'd have slapped you in your pompous face. You saw my eyes. You saw the darkness. You bully, thinking that just because I won't slap you doesn't mean I bow to you all the time? HAH! Fine. Since I can't use the computer when I need to do my work, I guess that just means I'll stay back in school. Hey, maybe I'll even go to an internet cafe. Let's see what you think of that.

Sorry about that, guys, just ranting a bit. The fact that I'm sick doesn't change much. Went to the doctor and he gave me an MC for two days. Ugh, so tired. I slept, but I still feel like just lying down and sleeping. I have no idea what's going on. I guess my body wants time to rest and regenerate, especially with what happened to my toe.

Been working a bit on my stories. Leaving is okay, though it's slowed down dramatically. My brain has been soaked in exhaustation these few days. My ears hurt. Most of all, I'm pissed at myself and at him. Grr... It really doesn't help that I'm missing old friends who I wish were here, but am not. I don't blame them, they have their own lives. Still, I'd like them to be by my side once again.

But let's talk about happier things. Stayed back on Tuesday with Rachel to do the crossword for the class t-shirt. We tried to make it as small as possible, which is a lot smaller than the original design. Had fun, lol. I was listening to music and started singing, as usual. It was funny, since we were sitting outside the Conference Room and there were teachers going in and out of it. There was this teacher coming up when I was singing along to Open Wounds. 'And you can't stop me from falling apart, 'cause my self-destruction is all your fault.' Couldn't stop laughing after that, LOL. The teachers who walked by kept muttering something, but I couldn't quite catch it. I'm sure it has a few synonyms for 'crazy', though.

Here's the song.
Skillet - Open Wounds uploaded by violover94
--------
I'll end here by saying I really miss a certain someone, who knows me better than we both realised. And yeah, that's all the hinting I'm going to do.

2008-02-25T18:39:00.003+08:00

Lol, was playing with Facebook quiz for a while today.

Men See You As Choosy
Men notice you light years before you notice themYou take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be pickyYou aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounterIt may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

*cough**snigger**cough* Okay. I shall stop laughing my ass off about that result before I need to get a new ass. Meh... Problems with history timeline (Damn you, history), I can't find the damned file... and I can't remember which events I did. Some help here, anybody?

At least the SEQ will be a lot easier, since it involves writing. I like writing. But I don't like homework. Damn. -.-

Oh yeahhh. 6I gathering during the March hols. Basketball, then a movie.

More good news: I'm going to update my fanfics soon! Yay! Most likely going to gain a few chapters during the March hols, so that's good news.

Major ouch.

2008-02-22T20:05:00.006+08:00

I dropped a mirror on my toe today. Y'know, those big ones that are in the wardrobe? For some odd reason, the mirror just fell out of the wardrobe... and onto my toe. Ouch. Not only was there bad bruising (no duh), but the skin had been scraped off and it was bleeding. I think I went into shock for a few minutes there, so thanks to my older sister for helping me, though she had to leave for school. Right now, I hate that mirror so much...

Oh yeah, we got the Happy Toilet campaign notice for our class today... We have to decorate the girls toilet outside out class. Including the boys. No, they can't go in, but they still have to help, since CIP hours will be recorded.

Got bored, so I took a few minutes to do this:

I'm trying to find a brush to get the swirl effect I loved playing with in Photoshop... In the meantime, bear with the lousy banner. I need to get back into practice. Just for memories, I'm uploading some of my old work.

For an old clan that is now disbanded...

I miss the WoTW days... Heh, I have to say, I'm a lot closer to Lily now than I was then. We were just 2 fellow clan members...
Also, here's something that I randomly did while clicking in Photoshop and playing with filters.

It was... hmm... I think, the first time I used Photoshop.

Couldn't resist putting that in. Archerrrr!

More Archer.

This looks so peaceful...

My Gil... Love his hair here.

The picture I use to represent my character.

More reasons to brush your teeth!
--------
'Love, from the realm of Darkness.'

My Immortal

2008-02-21T21:39:00.004+08:00

I'm changing the song on my blog again. I loved the first, but I think this one suits the skin better and I love it just as much. And this song is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence. Oh yeah, I'd like to say thanks to my da jie for sending me 'Teardrops On My Guitar' by Taylor Swift and 'Angel' by DJ Liquid. Yay for emo songs. ^^

Also, it looks like the background colour of our class shirt will be black, because it's the most popular choice. Sorry to the people who chose other colours, I know orange was quite popular too. Also, it'll be a round necked t-shirt. I'm not too sure about doing the crossword, since it stretches quite a bit, but I think that the draft that Rachel has done so far should be okay if we downsize it a bit. The text doesn't have to be visible from far away, so it'll work. Um, we're also putting the Altair class logo on it, but I'm also looking on ideas on how the word 'Altair' should look. I've downloaded a t-shirt template and should start working on it soon. Should be having a lot of those awesome Photoshop designs which will be done, ironically, in GIMP. ^^

Got a bit bored, so I did a little something in GIMP.

I know it's not looking too nice yet, I'm still working on it. I'll most likely come up with a much better version some time soon.

Self-torture

2008-02-20T19:17:00.003+08:00

PE today sucked. Majorly. We ran 5 rounds around the track, and since we forgot to pace ourselves, 21/35 people failed. Including me. Argh. Then we were made to run another round in the blazing hot sun. But no, it didn't end there. Next up was cleaning up the equipment, because we weren't allowed to have games. That means no floorball. After that, I had to do timing for sit-ups. Then we did shuttle runs. In said sun. Next was inclined pull-ups, but at least we snagged some COLD water from the water coolers on the way through the gym and towards where the equipment was set up. Didn't work for long, just one moment in the sun again and my throat felt parched. After that, my group moved to the track, where we had to practise standing broad jumps. I think I'll fail that part of the test. I can't do SBJs to save my life. Well, maybe. Meh. After that, we headed back to where we normally assemble and sat in our rows. No use being asked to run another round, since our recess was being cut into already. It's worse than torture, because we're made to inflict it on our own bodies.

Anyway, Ms. Lee was none too pleased with our results, and especially with the fact that we were lowest in the class cleanliness check. At least the state of the classroom improved, especially since Rachel sweeps the floor. Stayed back a few minutes to arrange the tables and push in the chairs. Managed to find 2 empty plastic bottles on the floor, but it was kinda late, so I just put 'em under the table at the back of the class until I could place them in the recycling bin.

Oh yeah, the Dance and Drama room has a few boxes scattered around, right? And there are some rubber masks on the boxes. The faces are really scary. *shifty eyes* Now, they don't look so scary when they're sitting there in broad daylight, but you wouldn't want to run into anyone wearing one of those at night. Especially midnight. And I bolded that to emphasise my point.

*sighs* And as for the seating arrangement thing, I just asked Ms. Chan if she reshuffled the seats. Argh. It's not like I'm unhappy about it, can? And Rachel took the scolding for Altair, which I have to thank her for. She's an awesome vice-chairperson. ^^

Trance always helps take the edge off

2008-02-19T19:42:00.004+08:00

Ahhh... feeling much better after last night. Maybe I shouldn't have been so hotheaded... Anyway, busy doing the computing homework now. Good thing the Macbook has Microsoft Office Powerpoint 2007... And it's not a trial version like the one I had on this computer.

People wanting to change seats again today. Yiren can't see clearly from where she is, and the same for Jing Yi. These are the two people whose places Ms. Chan is definitely changing, since they have valid reasons. Not sure who's going to switch with them. Anyway, because they wanted to switch places, Rachel and I went to ask Ms. Chan. She said she'd talk to the class after school. And boy, did she talk. o.O It seems like she's disappointed in us, which is sad, because she's a pretty nice teacher. Anyway, I hope we manage to keep the class clean enough until next Monday, which is when the second check will be. From what I remember, Ms. Lee was saying something about how we had food debris thrown into our dustbin. AKA the plastic cups from drinks bought in the school canteen. Thankfully, there's a big rubbish bin just outside out classroom, which is perfect for throwing away the rubbish. Note to self: Remember to check if rubbish bin is empty before the end of school on 25th Feb. And I hope we pass the check too, since it's really a pain to have to stay back. Thank god I didn't feel dizzy or anything during EDS (except when I forgot to spot) even though I missed lunch. Pity all the UG people who had to run around the track on empty stomachs.

Ack, hate the computing homework. Or rather, I hate using the computer and having to do homework on it. Especially because I only have about one hour left on my time frame. Meh.

Got back home after 6, since I stayed back late today to do the talk show. Saw the NPCC people dancing, LOL. They moved the tables in our class around... Hope they put 'em back properly, or it's very inconvenient. No idea what dance that was, but we heard one of the seniors counting.

Seems like I'm rediscovering more of my old favourite songs everyday. Like those I used to listen to, and liked, but was not sure what the song name was, or who the artist was. Speaking of which, I'm going to change the music on my blog again. It's now All About Us.

-Edit-
Altairians, whoever was angry about my comment about Altair acting like selfish juveniles in my last post, please refer back to it for comments that were edited in. It's bolded.
-End Edit-
------------------------

P.S. Rave, if you're reading this, I'm advancing the RP soon. I can't spend all my time waiting for Brim. That means you won't have to wait to post, once I'm done with my post. And of course, the beloved foreshadowing.